


The New Guy

by writeturnlove



Category: Bucky Barnes - Fandom, Sebastian Stan - Fandom, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:49:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,050
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeturnlove/pseuds/writeturnlove
Summary: Reader is assigned by the boss to train the newly hired account manager to the team - Sebastian Stan. She is reluctant to work with a new partner, but she feels up to the task…until she meets the handsome stranger and things get complicated.





	1. Chapter 1

The New Guy (Sebastian Stan X Reader)

By V.C. Turner/Writeturnlove

 

You hated training new hires. The task should have been regulated to the Human Resources Manager, but the Vice President said you were better at it. You felt more like he was just buttering you up rather than giving you a compliment on your work skills. Still, after a week’s vacation, you felt like it was an easy way to get back into work mode. 

Vice President Laughlin had briefed you on the new account manager that started last week. Technically, he wasn’t new because he worked in the New York Division, but he was new to the small city area and he needed you to show him the ropes since the two of you would be working closely on the manufacturing accounts in the area. 

Before meeting him, you’d been pulled aside at least ten times by various women in the office, all apparently drooling over the new guy. 

“He’s absolutely gorgeous,” Mia said.

“He’s fine as hell,” said Olivia.

“You’d better fix yourself up for this one, (y/n),” Wendy advised. 

The praise went on and on. You knew from experience that these women exaggerated from time to time since good looking men were hard to come by in your office. All you knew for certain was that you were going to spend the next two weeks spoon-feeding this guy information on how this division ran things and giving him tips on how to approach new accounts. 

After you finally got to your office, you turned on your desktop computer and logged into the company server. You were supposed to meet with him 10 minutes after your start time, so you wanted to get yourself organized a little before then. 

Despite Wendy’s suggestion, you only briefly scanned yourself in the mirror. Your Fenty Beauty Face was on point, with lush burgundy lipstick adorning your full mouth, complimented by the smokey hues over your eyes and a light shimmer of gold on your cocoa brown cheeks. Your hair cascaded in waves on your shoulders. Yes. You looked damned good…at least in the face. You felt your body was another story. Sure, you attracted men with your charm, your face and your breasts, but you felt much more insecure about your size 16 curves. You carried yourself professionally, wearing a maroon pantsuit with a white silk camisole underneath. 

As you adjusted your top to ensure your black bra stayed hidden, you heard a soft knock on your door. You stood, smoothing out your outfit before looking up into the bluest eyes you’d ever seen. Those eyes scanned you from head to toe as he studied your appearance. Before you had a chance to introduce yourself, the dark-haired, square jawed man stepped toward you with his hand extended and a smile that made you weak. He wore a tailored dark blue Hugo Boss suit and a cream colored shirt, with a stripped tie. You placed your hand in his to shake it. He wrapped his hand around yours, giving it a light squeeze, then he briefly rubbed his thumb across your wrist before reluctantly letting go.

“I’m Sebastian. Sebastian Stan,” he said as he looked you up and down again.

They were right: He was incredibly gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous. He stood at about 6 foot 1 with perfectly groomed black hair and a short but neatly sculpted beard that begged to be touched. His pouty lips were almost as distracting as the way his eyes twinkled when he smiled. For once, your colleagues weren’t exaggerating. For once, you wish they had.

“I’m (y/n),” you state, after composing yourself, “It’s good to meet you.”

Sebastian nodded and stood in front of you with his hands folded. You swallowed hard before gesturing for him to sit in the chair on the other side of your desk. He stepped toward the chair, scooting it closer to your desk. He then sat down and placed his forearms on the desk. You looked down at his hands and noticed that they were large, masculine, and free of wedding rings. Not that you should be paying attention to such things. After all: he was not in your dating league and you had to accept it. Plus, he was a co-worker and that would only complicate things even if you were in his league. He probably preferred tall, thin, model-type women, so you immediately filed him under the “Never going to get him” category, and composed yourself accordingly.

“So, Mr. Stan: why don’t you tell me what you already know and I’ll do what I can to fill in the blanks,” you stated, finally sounding like an educated professional and not a babbling teenager.

“Well, first of all, call me Sebastian. If we’re going to be working this closely, we need to be on a first name basis, don't you think?” he said. 

“Of course. Sebastian,” you continued, “So, what have they gone over with you so far.”

He sat straight up before answering.

“Mostly, they’ve been taking me on tours of the office, showing me where the supply closet is, helping me set up my office and my email. They also gave me some maps of the area. Mr. Laughlin said you would be showing me around town though,” he said. 

The low timbre of his voice threatened to turn you on, but you remembered that he’s unattainable. Still…a girl can fantasize. 

“You say they helped you with your email. What about the database system we use?” you asked, opening the company specific application and turning one of your monitors toward him.

Sebastian shook his head.

“Nope,” he added, “They just gave me a username and password. I don’t really know how to navigate it.”

“It’s okay. Why don’t I show you a few things on here? It’s really not too bad once you learn it,” you told him.

You gave him a sympathetic smile and began to log into your account to show him how to navigate the system. You tried to turn on your best professional mode as you started to open the screens.

“Actually,” he began, “It would be easier if I sat next to you…if you don’t mind.” 

Your heart raced for a moment because you weren’t certain about sitting so close to him. You gave him a weak nod and he slid his chair around the desk so that he sat within inches of you. He leaned closer, his face just above your shoulder. You did your best to focus on your task of training the god sitting next to you. 

As the program pulled up, you walked him through how to search for information in the database. Occasionally you handed him the mouse and keyboard and walked him through entering new information as well as retrieving existing information. There were times when his hand grazed yours. At first, the contact sent shivers down your spine, but you quickly dismissed it.

He leaned in closer every now and then. Your breath hitched and you hoped he didn’t notice, but when he backed away a little you realized that he had noticed the way you breathed and the glances you gave him from time to time. 

“Am I sitting too close?” he asked, innocently.

“No. You’re not - I’m sorry,” you muttered, “You’re fine. Really.”

“But you seem a little nervous about me being in your personal space. I don’t want to upset you,” he stated, a worried look on his face. 

Without thinking, you placed your hand on top of his. You didn’t know what compelled you to do it, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he appeared to study the way your hand sat atop of his. He smiled, turning his palm up to cradle your hand. You started to pull your hand from his, but he gently held onto it for a few seconds.

“Your hands are cold,” he said as he wrapped both of his hands around yours. You looked at him, speechless, but you loved the warmth of him flowing into your skin.

“My grandmother always said ‘Cold hands. Warm heart,’” you told him.

Sebastian gave you a small smirk as he brought your hands to his mouth. His lips parted slowly and he blew warm air on your fingertips as he clasped them.

He let your right hand go, but your left hand continued to rest in his palm. You don’t know why you let your hand remain there or why he continued to gently hold it in place. 

“You warmer now?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you told him, not breaking eye contact.

The sound of a throat clearing broke the intimacy of the moment. You and Sebastian looked up to find Mia standing in the doorway. She blushed a bit as she looked down at your hand still resting on top of Sebastian’s palm. You pull away, hoping it didn’t appear as suspicious as might have it looked. 

Mia forced herself to keep a straight face as she started to speak.

“We were just going around to get everyone’s lunch order,” she stated. She glanced between you and Sebastian as she awaited an answer. 

“If you’re ordering from the Blue & White Grill, get me the usual,” you told her, meaning the grilled chicken caesar salad. The Grill made them so large, you’d be eating the second half of it for dinner, which was just fine. 

Sebastian looked at you.

“Any suggestions?” he asked.

“What do you like?” you answered.

He looked up as if thinking about it.

“What’s the tastiest sandwich they’ve got?” he responded.

“Get the Reuben. It comes with steak fries. It’s divine,” you asserted, feeling a little guilty about suggesting probably the greasiest thing on the lunch menu.

Sebastian gave you a smile and then turned to Mia.

“Reuben it is,” he said.

Mia wrote down the orders and as soon as Sebastian turned back to the computer, Mia gave you a wink and headed down the hallway. You dreaded having to explain it to her later. 

After a few minutes, of clicking through the program, he started speaking again.

“Tell me something,” he said, “In all the literature they gave me, they never discussed inner-office relationships. I was just wondering if there was some policy against dating a co-worker.”

You think about it for a moment.

“As far as I know, there isn’t a rule against it; at least not between colleagues. If someone is your subordinate or a superior, it’s probably not a good idea and may go into the realm of sexual harassment,” you explained, “Mia is beautiful and single if you’re interested.”

Your voice was formal, which was what it should have been. 

As you click through more windows on the computer, you noticed that he was staring at you. You’d managed to sit next to Sebastian without looking directly at him for almost two hours while showing him the computer system. You felt like you were strong enough to look at him given that his face was about four inches from yours. Almost close enough to ki—

“A couple of weeks here and you’re already scouting for your next girlfriend,” you stated. The statement was probably inappropriate, but it came out before you had the chance to stop it. 

He chuckled a little, placing a hand over his face while scrunching his nose a bit. Great. He’s gorgeous and adorable at the same time. A part of you hoped he’ll turn out to be an asshole. Another part of you hoped he’ll just hurry up and choose someone like Mia to sleep with and get it over with.

“I wasn’t talking about Mia,” he said quietly as he smiled at you.

You swallowed hard and turned back to the computer screen. You were scrolling past various companies when you skipped over Bryson Industries. The company had a red star next to the name of the HR manager, Carter Bryson. 

“Wait…why is that one marked with a red star?” asked Sebastian.

“That is Bryson Industries. I haven’t been able to establish a relationship with them yet. They’d be a large account for us, but the HR manager and I have a long-standing disagreement,” you informed him. Your jaw tightened as you remember the bullying this guy did to you while you were in high school with him. You hated Carter Bryson, but you needed the business account. 

“Maybe I shouldn’t be asking this, but is he an ex-boyfriend or something?” he asked.

“No!” you exclaimed, “He used to bully me in high school. Called me ugly, nerd, things like that. I was skinny back then, so I’m not really looking forward to the asshole adding ‘fat’ to his list of insults.”

“You’re not fat,” he said, almost defensively. After a brief pause, he added: “You’re curvy. Men who can’t handle curves shouldn’t be allowed in the driver’s seat.”

Your mouth almost fell open at his words, but you quickly clamped it shut and diverted the conversation to work matters. 

“Thanks - I think. He’s just been hard to reach and I think you might be better at arranging the next meeting with him. When you feel up to it,” you suggested. 

“I’ll handle him,” he offered, “But I still want you with me when we meet him. Ok.”

You nodded your head.

Lunch arrived and you both took your meals to the conference room where the chatter in the room was mostly focused on that happened on television the night before. Your eyes turned to Sebastian, who seemed to enjoy the greasy Reuben sandwich he was eating. You stood up to grab some water when Mia cornered you at the water cooler.

“Spill!” she demanded.

“There’s nothing to spill here other than water,” you told her as you filled up your bottle.

She tugged on your elbow as you started to walk back into the conference room.

“You were holding hands with Hottie!” she whispered.

You pulled her aside into another room to explain.

“We were not holding hands! We were having a conversation about personal space -” you started to say.

“As Hottie was holding your hand,” Mia teased.

“Mia, it was nothing,” you told her, “He was trying to warm my hands up. That’s it.”

“I’m sure he was warming up more than your hands,” said Mia, popping a Wheat Thin in her mouth.

“I said it was nothing,” you assured her.

“If it was nothing, why does he keep looking at you like you’re the only person in the room?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“Because we’re supposed to be partners, working together on these accounts. He’s just getting to know me, that’s all,” you stated firmly.

Mia backed up with a look of disbelief in her eyes. 

“I’m not buying it. Just promise me one thing,” she began.

“What?” you asked as you started out the door.

“Promise me you’ll let me be a bridesmaid at the wedding, okay?” she teased.

You growled at her and headed back to the conference room to finish lunch. 

 

&*****&

 

The workday went by quickly and before you realized it, the clock read 5:45 p.m. The office was empty except for you and Sebastian. You’d developed a certain level of comfort around the handsome man. He was polite and charming, as well as very smart. He also had a confidence that didn’t seem to overwhelm those around him. He seemed well suited to his job and you were glad to have someone like that as a partner, regardless of how distracting he was. 

As the two of you exited the building, Sebastian offered to walk you to your car. He followed you to your Honda CR-V as you took note of the dark colored luxury car sitting two spaces from you. 

“What a beautiful car,” you admitted, gazing at the shiny black Lexus sedan. 

“Well, don't be too impressed. It was my mom’s car. She gave it to me after she paid it off,” he explained. 

“Still it’s nice,” you noted.

You opened your car door and tossed your purse inside.

“Thanks for helping me out today,” said Sebastian, his eyes twinkling again. He seemed way too nice for someone that handsome. You didn’t want to let your guard down around him. He could be a shark in designer clothing. 

“You’re welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow,” you said. You sat down and started the car as he closed the door once you were safely inside. 

Sebastian walked to his car and out of the corner of your eye, you felt him watching you. You tried to ignore it, but you couldn’t. You rolled down your window as you buckled your seatbelt. He did the same. 

“Be careful going home,” you called to him.

Sebastian gave you a wink before he answered you.

“Don’t worry. I’m great at handling curves…especially when I’m in the driver’s seat,” he said as he backed out of the parking lot. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

            Sebastian walked quietly toward your office on a late Friday afternoon. He still didn’t know what to say to you once he got there. He watched as you bit your bottom lip and stared intently at your computer screen. Your dark hair was pulled away from your beautiful face, secured in a neat ponytail. You were wearing red, which was his favorite color on you because it seemed to make your skin glow, especially in the sun that was setting just outside your window. To him, you looked gorgeous in any color, but red just took it to another level.

            He’d grown more comfortable being around you over the past several weeks, but when he caught a glimpse of you each morning, he momentarily forgot how to speak. He often covered up his nervousness with smiles, and then he diverted the conversation back to business because he knew flirting with you would be a bad idea. You worked together. It would be inappropriate.

            Of course most of his thoughts about you were inappropriate. He imagined all the things he could do to you on your desk, in your office chair, on the conference room table, etc. He swallowed hard and scanned the rest of the office. He witnessed Mia turning off the equipment and preparing to leave for the evening. When she passed him standing near your door, she gave him nudge and motioned for him to enter your office.

            Sebastian liked Mia, which was why he gave her his friend Anthony’s phone number earlier that day. He knew Mia and Anthony would hit it off. They were both outgoing and funny people. They would have a ball together. She would be a good addition to his circle of friends.

            But Mia wasn’t his type.

            His type was the woman sitting at the desk 15-feet from him wearing a long red dress on “Casual Friday.” His type had lovely eyes and the sweetest smile he’d ever seen in real life. His type was smart, beautiful, and kind. The truth was: you were his type.

            Sebastian did his best to fight his growing attraction to you because office romances were often fraught with complications, nevertheless he felt this powerful pull whenever you were around and he couldn’t control himself. He always found a reason to spend time in your office, and he sometimes called you into his to discuss something that could easily have been settled via email. He purposely left his phone, notebook, or coffee mug on your office, just to have an extra reason to see you throughout the day.

            He enjoyed the patience you showed him as you taught him how to navigate the company software. Although Mr. Laughlin explained some things the week before you returned from vacation, Sebastian pretended to need your additional guidance just so he could sit next to you. He knew it wasn’t good to start any relationship off with a little lie, but he needed to be near you; even if he only got to do it for eight hours a day.

            Sebastian wanted to know you better, but the only time you spent together took place in the office. So on Friday evening, standing outside of your office door, he planned on changing that.

&*****&

 

            You spent all day calming down a frantic human resources manager worried about a contract that started the following Monday. After rallying the staff to ensure the situation was handled, you put your head down on your desk and sighed. You looked up at the clock. The time read 6:13 p.m. The office was closed.

            You thought you were alone.

            You were wrong.

            “Hey,” his deep voice sounded.

            Sebastian stood at your door wearing a light gray shirt and blue jeans. You looked up at him, released your ponytail, and ran your fingers through your hair. You’d known him long enough to not care if he saw you appearing a bit disheveled.

            “Hi,” you said.

            “You look -” he began to state.

            “Tired, I know,” you interrupted him as you sat back in your chair.

            “Pretty,” Sebastian said.

            “Yeah, I know I’m looking pretty tired,” you responded. You stood up and smoothed out your long red V-neck dress. “Casual Friday” be damned. Jeans weren’t nearly as comfortable as your dress. You leaned over and logged out of your computer and then retrieved your purse from the shelf behind you.

            “I said you look pretty…not tired,” he added, walking into the room.

            “It’s just been a long day, Sebastian,” you told him. The sound of his name on your lips gave you more comfort than you were ready to acknowledge.

            “You know: you seem to be good at everything except taking a compliment,” Sebastian pointed out.

            You looked down at your feet and bit your lip because he always found a way to make you nervous. You weren’t sure when you’d get used to someone so handsome being on your presence on an almost daily basis. You tended to ignore his polite flirting because you knew he was just being nice and while you weren’t as insecure as you once were, you still had a hard time believing he could actually interested in you romantically.

            “I’m sorry,” you told him.

            Sebastian walked up to you and lifted your chin so that you looked into his eyes.

            “I don’t need an apology. Just give me a ‘thank you’ every now and then so that I know you believe it,” he noted.

            “Thank you,” you whispered.

            He smiled.

            “That ‘thank you’ was kind of weak, but I’ll take it since I know you’re exhausted,” he stated.

            “I am,” you informed him, “I’m going to order some food, pick it up on the way home, and relax for the rest of this evening.”

            After you locked up the office, Sebastian walked you to your car. It’s something he had done since the day you started working together. As he opened your car door, you placed your hand on top of his, as usual, and thanked him for being such a gentleman.

            “Look, it’s late. You’re tired and hungry. Why don’t you let me take you out to eat and then I’ll drive you home. We can pick up your car tomorrow,” he suggested.

            You almost refused his offer until your stomach growled loudly, forcing a laugh from both of you.

            “I appreciate it, but I can’t ask you buy me dinner _and_ drive me home,” you stated.

            Sebastian brushed his hand against your cheek; a gesture that seemed to surprise both of you. You gazed up at him and tried not to think about what his lips would feel like against yours. You failed, but at least you tried.

            “You didn’t ask,” he said, “I offered.”

            You turned toward your car and decided you really didn’t feel like driving for the rest of the night.

            “You’re certain it wouldn’t be too much: feeding me and then taking me home. I live on Lakewood Avenue,” you explained, worried that the distance to your house would be a burden.

            “Let’s see, that puts you about one mile from my place,” Sebastian told you.

            Shocked at how close you lived to him, you and your empty stomach agreed.

            You slid into his Lexus and he took you to an Italian restaurant nearby. The parking lot was beginning to fill up with other Friday night diners, but Sebastian was able to find a decent space. You crossed the parking lot and he placed his right arm around your shoulders. The two of you walked through the front doors and he gave the hostess his name. Your 10-minute wait flew by as you chatted about the foods you loved and what you might order.

            Once you were seated in a booth, your food and drink orders were taken and you started to get to know one another. Sebastian said he didn’t want to stay in New York because it was too crowded. He also wanted to make a name for himself apart from living so close to his overbearing parents. You told him about your family, that you were an only child, and that you wanted to run your own employment agency someday.

            As the two of you finished your meals, you spotted a familiar face in your peripheral vision. You didn’t want to look, but curiosity got the best of you. Then you saw him: your ex-boyfriend, Daniel Carter. Although you had gotten over him, you still hated to be reminded of how your relationship ended; with him telling you he didn’t want a serious relationship and with you walking out of his apartment. You later learned he married someone five months after your breakup.

            A part of you prayed he wouldn’t notice you, but he did.

            You took a drink of your soda and regretted that it wasn’t spiked with some form of hard liquor as you watched Daniel approach.

            Sebastian saw your expression turn serious.

            “Who is that?” he asked.

            “It’s my ex,” you told him, taking another drink and carefully studying the pattern on your paper napkin.

            “Are you going to be okay?” he asked, concerned.

            “I’m fine,” you told him, “I’m just too mentally tired to deal with it.”

            You saw the wheels spinning in Sebastian’s head as he thought of a way to help you out of your imminent discomfort. His eyes twinkled with a bit of mischief.

            “Do you want me to pretend I’m your boyfriend?” Sebastian suggested.

            You shook your head.

            “He wouldn’t believe it, and I don’t care enough to make him jealous,” you insisted.

            You turned to face Daniel as he approached.

            “Hi (y/n),” Daniel said, “It’s good seeing you.”

            “Good to see you,” you lied. You glanced at Sebastian, who looked jealous, or like he was pretending to be jealous.

            “I’m Sebastian,” he said as he stood up to greet your ex-boyfriend.

            Daniel looked at Sebastian and held out his hand. Sebastian took it, shaking it firmly before sitting back down, this time situating himself several inches closer to you in the small u-shaped booth.

            “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in forever. How are your parents?” Daniel asked.

            “We’re all fine,” you told him, “I’ve just been busy with work among other things. Hope you’re doing well.”

            Daniel looked between you and Sebastian.

            “I am. I am. We’re looking at houses right now. The apartment’s too crowded with the baby coming,” Daniel said.

            “Congratulations,” you said, giving him a genuine smile. Yep. You really were over him and it felt pretty good.

            Daniel stood at the table for another uncomfortable few seconds before bidding you goodbye and heading back to the bar.

            Once the check came, Sebastian paid it, leaving a generous tip for the waiter. He asked you to wait at the foyer of the restaurant while he went to the Men’s room.

As you stared out the window, you were startled by Daniel’s voice.

            “He’s lucky,” Daniel stated as he walked toward you with an amber-colored drink in his hand.

            “Who?” you asked, not knowing at all what he meant.

            “Your boyfriend, Sebastian,” Daniel pointed out, “Tell him not to be dumb enough to let you go.”

            Shocked that he would assume you and Sebastian were dating, you tried to straighten him out with a quick explanation.

            “Sebastian is a friend and a co-worker. He’s not my boyfriend,” you stated firmly, straightening your spine. You saw Sebastian exit the restroom and head in your direction.

            Daniel looked behind him and saw Sebastian coming his way.

            “Well, maybe not yet. Like I said, if he’s smart, he won’t let you go,” Daniel repeated.

            You simply nodded in agreement, but something in his statement made your eyes tear up unexpectedly. You heart filled with an emotion you couldn’t decipher. You wanted to run. You needed to leave. Without waiting for Sebastian to reach your spot by the doors, you walked outside as quickly as possible. You rested your hands against the railing on the ramp outside the restaurant. Tears began to fall and you didn’t know why.

            You tried to think of a reason and finally recognized that all this time you believed you didn’t deserve to be loved. And after all this time, Daniel finally realized you did. The revelation both broke your heart and gave you hope that maybe someday you wouldn’t just be part of someone’s journey. You’d be their destination.

            Lost in thought, you felt a pair of strong arms wrap around you. You jumped, but somehow you knew Sebastian was the one holding you. His cologne gave him away. You placed your hand on top of his forearm and patted it.

            You turned to face him without realizing that you hadn’t yet wiped away all of your tears. Sebastian’s eyes widened when he looked at you. Worry set in on his handsome face, then anger soon followed.

            “What’d the bastard say to you?” he asked as he wiped away the remaining tears with his thumbs.

            You shook your head but still found it hard to speak. You didn’t know how to explain it to him nor did you feel like he knew you well enough to fully understand. You hated him seeing you like that: raw, vulnerable, and emotional.

            Still, Sebastian looked ready to walk back into the restaurant and get himself arrested for kicking your ex’s ass. You had to think quickly. As he turned to walk back up the ramp and through the glass doors, you grabbed his left hand and entwined your fingers with his. At the same time, you reached up and touched his right cheek, turning his face toward you.

            “Sebastian, don’t!” you pleaded, looking up at him in desperation.

            He glanced at the door, then back at you, trying to decide whether or not to barge back into the restaurant anyway. You held onto him tighter. He saw your joined hands and his expression softened. He looked into your eyes and waited.

            “He didn’t say anything bad. Really. He just said something that made me think about a few things,” you insisted, “Honey, I’m fine. Just take me home. Please.”

            A few silent seconds passed between the two of you but it felt like minutes as you stared at one another. Sebastian continued to hold your hand as he walked you to the passenger side of his car.

            As you drove back to your apartment, you stared out of the window with your hands in your lap. You fidgeted with the strap on your purse, but you didn’t say anything. Sebastian stayed quiet until the first traffic light brought the car to a stop.

            A tiny smile pulled at his lips before he said something that he appeared to have been holding in for several minutes.

            “Do you realize that you called me ‘honey’ and held my hand back there?” he asked, his smile turning into a smirk.

            Your heart raced. You didn’t realize you called him that, along with holding his hand and touching the man’s cheek. Such intimate contact probably shouldn’t happen between two people that worked together. Normally, you wouldn’t even consider being so touchy-feely with someone so gorgeous. You wouldn’t even flirt with someone like him. Your mind raced as you thought of ways to do damage control and salvage this new friendship.

            “I’m – uh. I’m sorry about that,” you stuttered, “The thing is I’ve always been an affectionate person, so when I’m friends with someone, when I care about them, I end up touching them, hugging them, even cuddling with them. Of course almost all of my friends are women, and they don’t mind. I’m really sorry if that bothered you or offended you. I know it’s not appropriate. I promise: I am keeping my hands and my ‘honeys’ to myself from now on.”

            You relaxed after releasing that insecure stream of word vomit. Sebastian glanced to the right side of the car and parked in a space along the street. He turned to face you.

            “(Y/N), please look at me,” he said softly.

            Reluctantly, you did as he requested. He lightly stroked your cheek as he spoke.

            “For the record, you have my permission to touch me, hug me, cuddle with me, and even call me ‘honey’ if you want,” he whispered.

            You blush, though you don’t think he noticed due to the color of your skin and the time of night. The headlights from the passing cars illuminated his face and you could have sworn you saw him briefly glance down at your mouth.

            “I’ll keep that in mind,” you told him.

            “I’ll remind you if you forget,” Sebastian said as he carefully merged back into traffic.

            A few minutes later, he pulled into the parking space in front of your apartment. You lived on the first floor, so you didn’t expect him to get out but he did. Before you had a chance to open the car door, he was standing outside of it taking your hand and helping you out of his car.

            Sebastian walked you to your front door. He stood so close to you that you sensed his warmth surround your entire body. You felt a bit of longing as well as a bit of sadness knowing that you would only be friends with him.

            “Thank you so much for dinner, the ride, for everything,” you said as you opened your apartment door, “I owe you.”

            Sebastian gave you a smile before he spoke.

            “I’ll take a hug as compensation,” he offered.

            Before you lost your nerve, you stood on your tiptoes and wrapped your arms around his neck. You buried your face in his neck and breathed in his cologne. Sebastian’s arms surrounded your waist. He gave you a slight squeeze as he rubbed his hands up and down your back. You didn’t want it to end, but were enjoying it way too much, so you began to release your hold on him.

            He didn’t let go. His hands continued to caress your lower back. His chin grazed your exposed collarbone and you closed your eyes as your fingers skimmed the nape of his neck. It felt like heaven. _He_ felt like heaven.

            “You’re really good at this,” you said into his ear.

            “Hugging?” he whispered back.

            “Yeah,” you answered, waiting to see which one of you would break the embrace.

            “I’m a good kisser, too,” he asserted.

            You stopped breathing for several seconds as you let his words sink in. You knew he was being playful with you. Men that handsome only flirt with women like you to make you feel better. You tell yourself over and over again that he doesn’t want you _that_ way.

            “I’m – um. I can believe that,” you finally said.

            Sebastian slowly released his hold on you and stepped back a few inches. He reached for your hands and brought them up to his lips as he always did when trying to warm you up.

            “They’re not cold…for a change,” you advised him. He still cradled your hands in his.

            “So, we’re friends?” he asked.

            “Of course,” you said.

            “And, like you said, friends can do things like hug and hold hands every now and then, right?” he continued to inquire.

            You inhaled a shaky breath before answering.

            “Right,” you finally answered him in a weak voice.

            “What about kissing?” asked Sebastian.

            Stunned, you tried to think of the right answer.

            “Where,” you said.

            “Well, what’s off limits – for a friend?”

            You didn’t trust it. You couldn’t allow yourself to trust it. You put up your guard before answering him.

            “For friends, I’d say the lips and anything below the neck is off limits,” you finally stated.

            Sebastian let go of your hands and leaned forward. His cheek brushed against yours and you shuddered at the sensation of his chin stubble touching your face. Every nerve ending on your body came alive. He gently held your waist, pulling you close to him.

            He placed a kiss to your jawline and your body suddenly caught fire. Your breathing picked up, as did his. Desire swelled within you. He held you close while planting a string of gentle kisses from your earlobe, down your cheek, to within millimeters of your mouth.

            Suddenly, a loud bang sounded from inside your apartment, shattering the moment and potentially your world. Sebastian pulled away from you and stepped inside your apartment. He noticed the aluminum baseball bat you had placed near the front door for protection since you lived alone. He grabbed it and turned to you; his expression serious and determined.

            “Stay here. I’ll be right back,” he said.

            “Sebastian,” you called after him, completely terrified.

            He walked back to you and placed his forehead to yours.

            “I’ll be back in a second,” he said, “It’s probably nothing.”

            He then disappeared into the house. Adrenaline flowed through you like a freight train. You knew what was coming even if you weren’t in any immediate danger. You felt it almost as soon as he disappeared from sight. Your lungs felt like they were collapsing as you struggled to find your next breath. The porch began to spin around and you fell, landing just inside your door. You closed your eyes, begging your mind to let you calm down. Somewhere in the distance, you heard Sebastian say that everything was okay.

            But it wasn’t okay.

            It was already too late.


	3. Chapter 3

The New Guy  
Chapter 3

Your heart beat so furiously you thought it would burst from your chest. You began to shake from head to toe as the room spun around you. Paralyzed with fear, your mind told you to run, but your body disobeyed. Convinced that you were about to die, you tried to gain composure by pushing yourself against the living room wall and closing your eyes.  
“You’re okay,” you chanted over and over, trying to remember what your therapist taught you about calming yourself down when this happened. You tried to focus on something and quickly chose a dark brown square on the tile beneath you.  
“Just breathe,” you whispered to yourself. He couldn’t see you like that. You refused to let him to see you like that.  
As soon as the thought passed through your mind, Sebastian rounded the corner holding a box of cleaning containers that had fallen and produced the terrifying noise you both heard. The smile on his face dropped as he let go of the box and ran to you. You were rocking back and forth, trying to get yourself together. You couldn’t answer him when he asked if you were okay, so he shut the front door and sat down on the floor with you. He wrapped his arms around you and held you tight, as if you would shatter to pieces should he let you go.   
After several minutes and silent prayers, you began to form words again.  
“I … I have panic attacks sometimes,” you explained in a weak voice, “I’m sorry.”  
“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he said into your ear, but you shook your head in shame.   
“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to know that I can get like this sometimes. I swear, all I’ve done today is feel frustrated, exhausted, sad, and now terrified for no reason,” you said, fighting back tears, “I’m not this weak. I’m not.”  
Sebastian gently turned you face around so he could look you in the eyes.  
“You’re not weak. I don’t think that. You shouldn’t. Look, today you worked your ass off; then you ran into your ex-boyfriend who only made things worse. After that you come home and heard a noise that scared the shit out of you – out of both of us. You’re not weak, sweetheart. You’re just tired from having to be strong all the time,” he explained.  
His words seemed to stitch you together just when you felt like you were falling apart. He gave you a tight squeeze and helped you to your feet. The tears stopped falling, but you still wiped your face and smoothed your dress.   
“Thank you,” you said, offering a wry chuckle, “Again.”  
“Do you need me to stay for a while?” he asked.  
Still shaking a little, you answered him.  
“I think I’m okay,” you told him.  
Sebastian tilted his head to the side as he leaned against your sofa.   
“Do you want me to stay?” he asked.  
“Yeah,” you mumbled, “For a little while if you don’t mind.”  
He walked over to you and kissed your forehead.   
“I don’t mind,” he added.  
With your arms still wrapped around yourself, you scanned the room for no apparent reason other than the fact that you didn’t know what to say or do next. Thankfully, he had an idea.   
“Why don’t you go get into your most comfortable set of PJs and we’ll watch a movie or something,” Sebastian offered.   
“Okay,” you told him with a small smile, “There’s stuff to drink in the fridge if you’re thirsty.”  
You headed to your bedroom and quickly freshened up, washing your face, and then styling your hair into a neat bob that framed your features. Looking good, or at least cute, tended to help you feel more like ‘you’ after a panic attack. You considered what to wear and finally settled on something that Mia bought for you last year. You put on the red satin camisole with matching red “boy-short” panties, and then draped yourself in a short satin robe. It was comfortable. Normally you fell asleep within minutes of putting on the sleepwear.   
Once dressed, you softened your skin with cocoa butter lotion and headed to the living room. You walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water, then made your way to the sofa where Sebastian sat flipping through various movies on your SMART TV. He stopped channel surfing as soon as you sat down. You felt his eyes on you and immediately wondered if you had made a mistake in choosing your attire. No one else had ever seen you in it before.   
“See anything interesting?” you asked as you watched the flat screen.  
Sebastian rubbed his hand across his face. He chuckled nervously before he spoke.  
“Um, yeah. I do,” he said.  
“Good,” you told him as you propped your feet up on the coffee table.   
From the corner of your eye, you noticed Sebastian stealing quick glances at you. He then took a throw pillow from the sofa and covered his lap. His eyes occasionally drifted in your direction, but they always shifted back to the television when you caught him staring.   
You heard him take a deep breath while shifting in his seat.  
“(Y/N), Can you please do a friend a favor and change into something else?” he asked.  
You sat upright, feeling a bit insecure and regretting your wardrobe choice. You showed too much thigh. Maybe he could see your rolls of fat under your camisole. Good God, why did you have to show your huge butt in these shorts? Hundreds of worries plagued your mind before you finally spoke up.  
“I’m sorry. I just put on something comfortable like you suggested. I’ve been told I look good in red, that’s why I feel good when I wear it,” you explained.  
Sebastian scooted toward you. He hooked an arm around your waist and pulled you close enough to say something in your ear.   
“You do look good in red,” he said, running his fingers along the exposed strap of your camisole, “And I’m sure you feel damn good in red, too, but if you want me to be a gentleman, please put on something that isn’t so easy for me to take off of you.”  
You stopped breathing to prevent yourself from moaning after hearing him say that. You looked away from his hungry gaze to observe that he’d already untied the belt of your robe without you realizing it.  
“You mean you want to –” you started to say.  
Sebastian placed a finger to your lips.   
“I’m going to behave tonight,” he said as he slid the strap aside and kissed your shoulder, “Just promise you’ll wear this for me when you’re ready to misbehave.”  
Shocked into silence, you nodded and slowly exited the room to change. A part of you still doubted that you had the ability to turn on someone like Sebastian. He could have any woman he wanted and you couldn’t envision a scenario where he would want a plus-sized lover when there were plenty of petites out there from which he could choose. Yes, you were nice, smart, and kind, but these traits are not what show up on the covers of magazines or in movies.   
You decided that his flirtatiousness had to be related to his desire to be your friend and help boost your confidence after a rough day; nothing more.   
Several minutes later, you walked back out wearing a burgundy V-neck top and a pair of black short shorts. You plopped down next to him with a coy smile.   
“Better?” you asked.  
He nodded.  
“Cotton is a good choice. It should slow me down,” he teased.  
You laughed and crossed your legs beneath you.  
“Good to know,” you said, lightly tapping his knee.   
After several minutes, Sebastian wrapped his arm around your shoulders and you snuggled up to him. You didn’t pay attention to the movie. Your thoughts were focused on his heartbeat and how the rhythm of it seemed to calm you as the day drew to a close.  
Sebastian soon lifted your chin, his blue eyes glancing over your features then landing on your lips. He cupped your face with his left hand, leaning in to nuzzle you.  
“I really want to kiss you,” he admitted.  
“We can’t,” you told him. Though it was an extremely tempting thought, you doubted you could handle it.  
“Don’t worry,” Sebastian continued, “I’m not going to do it. I know it’s a bad idea.”  
“Because we work together,” you added.  
Sebastian shook his head.  
“It’s because we both know it might not stop at kissing,” he pointed out.   
Sebastian cautiously gave you a small peck on the cheek. You bit your bottom lip and let out a shaky breath. Your heart began to race again, but the only danger now was falling in love with someone like him. You never believed you could have him for anything other than a one-night stand; a passing curiosity for him and a fleeting fantasy for you.  
It was impossible. Anything other than friendship with him would end catastrophically. You were business colleagues and he would eventually break your heart like all the others. How could you work with him after that?  
“Should I move over there?” you asked him, pointing to the recliner across the room.  
“No. Don’t,” he said, “Besides: you’ve had a long day and you need me to be your friend, so that’s what I’ll be tonight.”  
Sebastian kicked off his shoes and laid down on the sofa. He scooted against the cushions and patted the space in front of him, inviting you to lie down next to him. You lied down, facing away from him as he curled around you. A movie played quietly on the television as he held you.   
“Turn around,” he requested.  
You rolled over to face him, gazing at his face illuminated by the light from the television. He ran his hand along your side until he reached your left thigh. He wrapped your leg around him and settled into a comfortable position for you both. Sebastian then started stroking the back of your neck while his thumb caressed your jawline. You gazed into his blue eyes, but sleep threatened to close your eyes much too soon.  
You smiled up at him.  
“That feels so nice, it’s going to put me to sleep,” you admitted.  
“So go to sleep pretty eyes,” he said, “I’ve got you.”  
You snuggled closer, placing a kiss on his collarbone while playing with the collar of his shirt.  
“That’s not fair. The collarbone is below the shoulders, which – if I remember correctly – is supposed to be off limits,” he said.   
“I’m sorry,” you whispered with a smile on your face.   
“Don’t be sorry. Just don’t stop me when I do it to you,” he whispered back.   
You scooted closer to him and felt his arms wrap around you. There was nothing platonic about the way you felt about him. Despite what he said, you couldn’t imagine he felt the same way about you.   
“Aren’t you going to watch the movie?” you asked.  
Sebastian shook his head.  
“No,” he said. He brushed away a hair that had fallen on your face.   
Your next words came out without you thinking before you spoke.  
“Do you want to go to bed?” you asked innocently.  
Sebastian raised an eyebrow and smiled widely.  
“Yeah, eventually, but I think we should go on at least one date first,” he teased.  
You covered your face in shame, all the while laughing at him.  
“I meant that the bed is more comfortable, that’s all. We’d have more room,” you explained.  
You stood up and smoothed your clothes. You didn’t consider the possibility that he might not want to stay the entire night. The fact that you made the assumption quickly rattled you. His flirting was playful; not serious. Why would you think he’d want to share a bed with a big brown-skinned girl he barely knew? You couldn’t look at him, but you felt like it was important for you to offer him a way out. As you turned around, you came face to face with his broad chest.  
Sebastian looked down at you.  
You took a few steps back and began to fidget with your hands.  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have assumed you were spending the night. You probably want to get home to your own bed,” you babbled.   
“No,” he said, “I‘m sure I’d rather be in yours.”  
You motioned for him to follow you as you headed to your hallway. He easily met your stride and took your hand in his. His warmth flowed through you; his touch sending tingles down your spine.  
Once inside the dimly lit room you began to panic again. You pulled back the covers and forced your mouth to form words.  
“Which side do you want?” you asked him.  
Sebastian blushed.  
“It doesn’t matter. Why don’t you get comfortable first,” he suggested.  
You slid into the left side of the bed and immediately covered up after you realized how much your thighs spread out whenever you sat up down bed.  
For the first time since you met him, Sebastian looked shy. He watches you cautiously as he unbuttoned his jeans. When you realized you were staring, you covered your eyes and issued him a muffled “Sorry.”  
His infectious laugh filled your ears. Then came the rustle of his clothing landing near the bed. You wanted to open your eyes but felt certain you would pass out once you saw him in whatever state of undress he decided to bless you with.  
The bed dipped next to you, followed by a brief waft of cold air, and then ... warmth. The sensation spread down your leg as his bare thigh touched yours.  
“You can look now,” he said softly.  
You removed your hands from your face. You looked at him, both relieved and disappointed that he was wearing a white t-shirt. You also felt the fabric of boxer briefs brush against your thigh.  
“I’ll, uh. I’ll unplug the night light over there,” you offered.  
“No. Leave it on,” requested.  
“Why?” you asked.  
“I want to look at you,” he said quietly.  
You wanted to ask him why, but you decided to keep the question to yourself. He didn’t need to constantly hear you voice your insecurities.   
Sebastian gave you a shy smile then scooted down to lie on the pillow. He slipped his arm under your pillow and motioned for you to lie next to him. Once you did, he wrapped his left arm around you and held you close. For a moment, you savored the sensation of feeling like you were falling asleep in your boyfriend’s arms. He wasn’t yours. He wouldn’t be yours, but it was such a nice fantasy.   
You slowly placed your arm around him, giving him a quick squeeze.  
“Do you cuddle like this with all of your friends?” you asked.  
“No. Anthony’s a bed hog, so we don’t cuddle anymore,” he joked.  
You giggled into his shoulder and basked in his cologne. You closed your eyes and snuggled closer to him.  
“Do you cuddle like this with anyone else?” he whispered.  
“No,” you confessed, “You’re special.”  
Sebastian gave you another squeeze and kissed the top of your head.  
“I hope so,” he added quietly.  
You sighed heavily. The day was catching up with you and as handsome and perfect as he was, your body was ready for sleep.  
“Thanks for staying the night, Sebastian,” you said before drifting off to dream land. He whispered his response.  
“Anytime, doll,” he said, “Sweet dreams.”

***&&***

Morning light peeked through the curtains and a sliver of gold illuminated the room. Sebastian watched as you slept; the beautiful woman he met only seven weeks earlier who he could not seem to get out of his head. His fingers ached to caress your soft sweet smelling skin. He gazed as you rolled over in bed, revealing a small portion of the swells of your breasts hidden beneath your top.   
Sebastian felt guilty because you tossed and turned all night and he believed he was the reason. You’d mentioned that it had been some time since you’d shared a bed with anyone. Perhaps his snoring woke you up or the fact that he couldn’t seem to go more than five minutes without caressing some part of you.   
The handsome man took pleasure in how you instinctively responded to his touch – even in your sleep. If he rubbed your back, you would snuggle closer to him. If he stroked your hair, you would let out a soft moan. If he kissed your forehead, you would kiss his cheek. He desperately wanted to kiss your inviting lips, but he was willing to wait until you were ready.  
“Sebastian,” you moaned in your sleep.  
He smiled and leaned in close and pulled you back into his arms. As you breathed in and out, he marveled at how your full lips formed a small smile. He kissed your forehead and stared at your angelic face. He shouldn’t want you this badly; not this soon, but the truth was that you owned him the moment he shook your hand on the day you met.  
Sebastian told himself to stay away from you because you worked together but he could no longer control how he felt nor or how he behaved around you. Being around you at work was somewhat manageable. He remained professional and just a little flirtatious. But being alone with you was a different story. He needed to touch you. He needed to hold you. He needed to kiss you wherever you would allow it just to feel your skin on his lips.   
He peered over your shoulder and looked at the time on the clock. He was supposed to pick up his friend Anthony and take him to the service station of a local car dealership. Already 10 minutes late, Sebastian found it impossible to leave your arms. He’d already received five phone calls and text messages from Anthony asking where the hell he was. Apparently an “I’ll tell you later” text wasn’t a good enough response for his friend.   
Reluctantly, Sebastian left your warmth to get dressed, but he found himself back in your bed the minute he heard you say his name again under your breath. He wondered what you were dreaming about.   
You laid your head on Sebastian’s shoulder as he held you. Then his phone rang. It vibrated in his pocket and he silenced it immediately, but it was too late. You’d heard the buzzing sound.

***&&***

The buzzing of Sebastian’s phone woke you earlier than you wanted, but you knew he had to leave at some point. Falling asleep in his arms felt wonderful and right, but also very temporary.   
“Your phone is ringing,” you told him. Sebastian just groaned at your statement, his face buried in the crook of your neck.   
“I don’t care,” he whispered. He wrapped his arms tighter around you and you closed your eyes.  
“It might be important,” you said as you ran your fingers up the back of his neck and threaded them deep in his dark locks. You didn’t really want him to leave. Holding him felt amazing.  
“Not as important as this,” he added with quick nibble on your earlobe.  
You writhed in his embrace. The heat built up between you and you stopped caring if it he really meant what he was saying and doing. Your selfish body and heart wanted whatever he could give you; even if it turned out to be temporary.  
You felt Sebastian’s left thigh slide between your legs and your breath became ragged as it brushed against your treasure. You ground against the hard muscles of his leg. His hands caressed your lower back, skimming just below your waistline with each stroke as he continued nibbling on your left ear.   
“Sebastian?” you mewed.  
“Yes?” he moaned.  
“What you’re doing to my earlobe …it’s not exactly platonic,” you whispered.   
He chuckled as he gave you another small bite.  
“Neither is what you’re doing to my thigh,” he hummed into your ear.  
You needed to pull away from him. You needed to gain perspective even though you were perfectly willing to make love to him in that moment and face the consequences later. Then you realized there had been no first date, no first kiss, and his arousal may have had more to do with morning “wood” and less to do with you specifically.  
“I know and I need to let you go,” you told him.  
You backed away from him although you ached for something more than just friendship with him. Sebastian sat up, pulling out his phone to check his messages. He tapped a few icons on the screen before speaking. He then held the phone up, facing you.  
“Smile, Beautiful,” he said.  
“Oh God,” you said, knowing that he was about to snap a picture of you.   
You covered part of your face, but you heard the click of his phone, which probably caught your embarrassed smile and messy hair. You tossed a pillow in his direction but missed.  
“Delete that,” you told him, “I look gross in the morning.”  
Sebastian stared at his phone and smiled.  
“No, it’s actually pretty sexy,” he said as his phone buzzed again, “I gotta go before I end up as a victim on the next episode of Law & Order.”  
You walked him to the door, passing by the mirror in the hallway and feeling shocked that your hair had remained mostly in place throughout the night.   
You both stepped out onto the porch, neither of you knowing how to say goodbye. You couldn’t define what happened between you and Sebastian over the past several hours. You only knew that you wanted more and that terrified you.  
Too nervous to say anything profound, you wrapped your arms around his neck when he turned to face you. Holding onto him tight, you breathed him in again as if it would be the last chance you ever had. He embraced you, adding a squeeze and gently rocking you from side to side.  
Sebastian then pressed his lips to your neck and you bowed into him. His hands made their way up your shirt. He caressed your back in long strokes as he kissed a path to your right shoulder. It shouldn’t be this easy for a man to arouse you, but he seemed to have the gift.  
“Sebastian,” you moaned.  
“Hmm,” he mumbled back.  
“We’re on my front porch,” you whispered, “Behave.”  
“You said I could kiss you anywhere except the mouth, right?” he answered.  
You could feel his smile on your skin. Your nipples hardened against his chest and he released a muffled growl as soon as he felt it.  
“I know,” you sighed in his ear.  
“You smell so good,” he said into your neck as he kissed it again.  
You groaned as the tips of his fingers briefly slipped beneath your waistband then slid back up to rest on your lower back.   
“Sebastian, your hands,” you whispered.  
“You said I couldn’t kiss you below the neck. You said nothing about the hands,” he teased.   
Your breathing picked up and moisture pooled between your thighs. You wanted to pull him back inside of your apartment and enjoy every minute of the way his hands explored each inch of you, but you knew it had to stop. Even though it felt different – even though he felt different – you had no guarantee that he wouldn’t treat you like all the others.   
They all wanted you at first, but you always seemed to come in last.   
Reluctantly, you decided to carefully put the walls back up around your heart. In order to do that, you needed physical distance from him but your body betrayed your confused mind and heart.   
“We shouldn’t be doing this,” you whispered.  
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked, his lips still connected to your neck.  
“No,” you confessed.  
He placed his forehead to yours.  
“Then ask me to stay,” he said, his breath tickling your face.  
“Stop tempting me,” you told him.  
Sebastian wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you close so he could whisper in your ear again.  
“You’re tempted?” he asked, his hands beginning to roam over your lower back again. It felt like heaven. You closed your eyes and lost yourself in him again.   
“Very tempted,” you admitted, releasing a breathy moan.  
“Then maybe, next time I come over, you’ll let me give you a real kiss,” he added with a wink.  
“Next time,” you told him as he backed away slowly and walked to his Lexus.  
In that instant, something took over you. You thought of every moment you let slip through your fingers because of fear. You thought of all the ‘what ifs’ you’d experienced and all the chances you didn’t take for reasons that didn’t seem to matter much anymore. You thought of it all in those precious seconds … and you refused to punish yourself with yet another regret.  
“Hey Sebastian,” you called after him.  
He turned to face you.  
“Yeah,” he said, his left eyebrow raised.  
You couldn’t let him go. You wouldn’t deny yourself ever again.  
“To hell with next time,” you said.  
Sebastian’s eyes twinkled as he nearly leapt over the hood of his car to get to you. He ascended the steps and placed his hands on your waist. He kissed your forehead first. You closed your eyes. Then his lips gently pressed against each eyelid. You held your breath. He kissed your nose and you felt certain your heart stopped. When his nose brushed yours, you nearly chickened out for fear the actual sensation of his lips meeting yours would give you a heart attack.   
His warmth made you dizzy, so you held onto his shirt to keep from falling over. Then you felt it… his mouth gently brushed against yours. Your lips parted slightly as your heart beat in your hears. His lips caressed yours at an achingly slow pace. You released a soft whimper just before he moaned into your mouth.  
Sebastian’s fingers rested against the nape of your neck while his thumb stroked your jawline as he kissed you. You kissed him back, not worried about the possible clumsiness of your movements because nothing mattered except this precious dream turned reality. There would be no going back now. You were falling for him. Hard.  
His left hand sought refuge beneath the back of your shirt as he pulled you even closer. You felt as if you were going to faint, but you said a silent prayer that you wouldn’t. After a few minutes, he released your mouth, taking several deep breaths as if he too forgot to breathe. He held you close, his lips then pressed against your right temple.  
You decided to speak to break the comfortable silence between you.   
“Sebastian?” you asked.  
“Yeah, (y/n),” he said.  
“Say something,” you said, as your insides started to shake; your insecurities beginning to float to the surface.  
“I want to take you back inside and kiss you for the rest of the day,” he whispered into your ear.  
“Don’t you have to pick up your friend?” you reminded him.  
“I’ll call him a cab,” he said, placing another brief kiss to your lips.  
You forced reason to take hold. You needed to get some uninterrupted sleep. He needed to give his friend a ride.   
“You have to take Anthony to the dealership and I need to get some rest,” you explained.   
Sebastian kissed your eyelids.  
“Understood,” he whispered, “But can I come back later?”  
“Yeah,” you told him.   
Sebastian wrapped his arms around you as he claimed your mouth again.   
You didn’t notice the sounds of the cars passing on the street. You didn’t notice the wind picking up and peppering goose bumps across your skin.   
You didn’t notice a cautious pair of eyes watching you and Sebastian kiss goodbye on your front porch.


	4. Chapter 4

**The New Guy: Chapter 4**

By V.C. Turner

 

Mia scooted down in the front seat of her car so she wouldn’t get caught spying on you and the mystery man running his hands up and down your back. She knew she shouldn’t be doing it, but the view was a little too adorable to ignore.

Although she was happy for you, she felt a little upset that you hadn’t told her about the secret romance you had going on the side. She pulled out her smartphone and began to record the little interlude on the porch. She watched as the man pulled you closer and kissed your neck. She saw the far-away look in your eyes and pride swelled in her chest.

“Get it girl,” she said to herself, and then took a sip of the coffee she’d purchased on the way over.

Mia watched the hug young man gave you as he whispered in your ear and you smiled. Once she finally caught a glimpse of his profile, she realized that she should have recognized that square jawline from anywhere.

You were messing around with Sebastian!!!! She knew it!!!

“See, I called this shit from day one,” she said as she did a little dance in the car.

She almost felt guilty for gawking at the intimate moment, but she had to admit it was kind of sexy to be a voyeur.

Mia watched as Sebastian headed to his car only to run back onto your porch to hold you again. She held her breath when she saw Sebastian take a brief break from nuzzling your neck, and then he pressed his lips to your forehead, kissing his way down your face until his nose brushed yours.

“He’s gonna kiss her. He’s gonna kiss her!” Mia cheered quietly in her car. She aimed her phone at the two of you, zooming in slightly to catch the kiss on video.

When Sebastian’s mouth captured yours, Mia squealed with delight. Her little girl was growing up…. and you were going to provide all the details of why Sebastian was wearing his Friday work clothes on a Saturday morning as he stood on your porch making out with you.

After a few minutes, he reluctantly pulled away. Sebastian stroked your cheek and Mia sighed as she recorded the moment, knowing that she would probably play it at your wedding reception someday.

She saw Sebastian whisper in your ear and place his forehead to yours. She witnessed the final embrace you shared with him as he slowly backed away to get into his car and leave.

Mia waited a couple of minutes before she ran up to your door and knocked rapidly. She heard your footfalls approach and cued the video of you and Sebastian. As soon as you opened the door, she pushed the “Play” button.

 

&*******&

 

You didn’t expect Mia for a few hours, so you hoped to get some sleep after Sebastian left. You still felt his lips on yours; the sensation burned into your memory. The feeling of his hands on your waist and your back continued to make you tingle. You missed him already. When you heard the knock on your door, it scared you a little, but when you saw Mia through the peephole, you relaxed.

Until you opened the door.

Your eyes widened as they fixed themselves on Mia’s phone, which had captured almost all of your exchange with Sebastian on the porch. While you knew the two of you were in public, you never dreamed that anyone would record it. For some reason, you believed no one would see it; much less someone who knew that you and Sebastian worked together.

You glared at Mia only to be met with tears of joy filling in your friend’s eyes.

“I’m so happy for you girl!” Mia said as she pulled you into a hug. She started to take a quick whiff of your shirt, then pulled away with a broad grin on her face.

“You smelling all like him and shit,” Mia continued, “Spill it because if y’all doing this mess out in the open, I can’t wait to hear what y’all did in here!”

You stepped away from Mia, but you weren’t able to hide the blush engulfing your brown face.

“Nothing else happened, Mia,” you said as you walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water.

Mia followed you, placing her things on your counter and sitting on the barstool.

“Plenty was happening out there on your porch,” Mia teased in her “I told you so” voice.

You took a deep breath before you delivered your explanation.

“Look, we just hung out and did a little bit of – friendly cuddling – that’s all,” you insisted, chugging your water and hoping she’d drop the matter.

She didn’t.

“That wasn’t just friendly cuddling on that porch,” Mia stated, “That was making out.”

“We were not making out!” you yelled, slamming the water bottle on the counter and spilling water in the process.

Mia’s look of shock snapped you back to reality. You anger surged forward faster than you could catch it. Having someone see you and Sebastian, much less film your intimate moment, did anger you more than you realized. That moment was yours. It didn’t belong to anyone else and having Mia record you made you feel more than a little exposed.

“Damn, girl!” Mia exclaimed as she pushed back from the counter.

You did your best to hold it together and give yourself time before you spoke.

“I know you meant well, Mia, but … you made a video of our first kiss. I didn’t want to share that with anyone other than Sebastian. I wanted it to be just his and mine – at least for a little while,” you explained.

The disappointment you felt matched what was reflected in Mia’s eyes.

“I’m sorry girl. I was just so happy for you that I didn’t think about anything else. I’m sorry,” Mia said. She walked around the counter and hugged you. Your emotions soon settled and you both walked to the sofa to talk.

“No. Don’t apologize. I’m sorry I yelled. All of this just caught me off guard, that’s all,” you explained.

“So…how long have you guys been dating?” Mia asked, “That is – if you want to tell me.”

“That’s just it,” you told her, “I don’t know what we are. We didn’t really discuss it. You know how people say things like ‘It just kind of happened.’ Well, that’s how it was. He took me to dinner after work, and then we came here. A little flirting happened then something fell and scared the shit out of me. I had a panic attack, so he agreed to stay with me for a little while. The next thing I know, we’re cuddling on the couch. Then we moved to the bedroom,” you said.

Mia’s mouth dropped open when you said the word ‘bedroom.’

“And?” she asked.

“And…we just got a little friendlier. He behaved himself for the most part though. It was just so nice,” you continued, remembering each kiss on the neck and each caress he gave you throughout the night.

“But the whole ‘we’re officially dating’ conversation didn’t happen?” she inquired.

You shook your head.

“I know he likes me. I know he probably wants to sleep with me, but guys are like that with me, sometimes. It’s easier to get into their beds than it is to get into their hearts,” you firmly stated.

Mia raised her eyebrows.

“I don’t think that’s it, (y/n). He seems too into you as a person. I don’t think he just wants a little sport nookie. I mean let’s be honest. He’s gorgeous. He can get that anywhere. What he’s _choosing_ is to be with you because you’re beautiful, smart, and amazing,” Mia stated.

“Mia, he can have any woman he wants, so it makes no sense to pick me. No. Maybe I’m his pity fuck for the year,” you asserted, staring off into the distance.

“Girl, you need to stop that mess. You know he’s been going after you for weeks,” Mia asserted, “That boy’s been brushing off everyone’s advances because he only has eyes for you.”

“Then there’s something wrong with him,” you said.

Mia pushed your shoulder and as she did, your phone lit up. A new message came in…from Sebastian.

“Hey beautiful. I hope you’re sleeping. Wish I was there. Will you call me later? – S”

You smiled down at your phone, running your fingers over the words as if you were actually touching Sebastian rather than the screen of your iPhone.

Mia tapped your shoulder and you showed her the message.

“Girl, it ain’t even been what, an hour and he’s already missing you. That boy’s in love,” she said.

You shook your head. While Mia’s words did give you some comfort, all of it felt too good to be true. The last time you dated a man this handsome was in college, but back then you were skinny and you felt confident about attracting men like that. Your college romance ended in heartbreak for everyone. You didn’t believe you could date anyone that gorgeous ever again.

Now, with a few extra years and pounds on you, attracting men wasn’t so easy and you ended up dating people simply because they were interested in you; not because you were all that interested in them. There were times when you struggled to find an attractive feature on someone and, once you did, you clung to that feature as securely as possible.

With Sebastian, you felt even more insecure about where you stood with him. Yes, he’d kissed you. Yes, he couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of you the night before, but you couldn’t discount the possibility that he was just another horny guy interested in sex with a nice girl he thought would be an easy target.

Sebastian seemed nice; almost too nice. He had beautiful eyes, a perfect smile, a jawline made for royalty. You didn’t feel someone like that could truly fall in love with you, despite how he treated you the night before; or even how he’d treated you since the two of you met. You wanted to trust him. You really did and you had no logical reason to doubt him. But emotions are never logical.

“He’s not in love,” you asserted, placing the phone back on the coffee table.

“Wait, aren’t you gonna text him back?” Mia asked.

“Not yet,” you said as you bit your lip, “I don’t know what to say.”

Mia looked up at the ceiling as the thought about the right way to advise you on the subject.

“How about just sending him an emoji?” she asked.

You seriously considered this for a moment, initially believing that an emoji would not sound desperate – which is something you never wanted him to think. Then you realized that you were not one to play games with anyone. You wanted to be honest, but you also wanted to keep your emotions in check to spare your heart a little.

You picked up the phone and finally answered his message.

“Wish you were here too, handsome. I’ll call you after I get a little sleep,” you typed. You showed the test to Mia, who nodded her approval just before you hit the send button.

You placed the phone back on the table and turned to face Mia. The phone soon beeped again. You didn’t expect a reply so quickly and you were afraid to pick it up. You simply stared at the phone before Mia reached for it and handed it to you. Your heart raced as you opened the message from Sebastian.

There were no words just two emojis: The symbol for a kiss…and a red rose.

 

&*****&

 

Sebastian pulled up to the apartment building where he saw Anthony leaning against the brick wall of the massive residential complex. His friend approached the car and got in, huffing as he latched the seatbelt.

“Man, why are you this damn late?” Anthony asked. There was no anger in his voice; just frustration.

Sebastian picked up his phone and found your picture and then handed it to Anthony.

“She’s why,” Sebastian said.

Anthony whistled as he zoomed in on the picture and gazed at your features. He ogled you from your sparking eyes, to your full lips, to your angelic face, to your curvy body. Sebastian soon pulled the phone from Anthony’s hands.

“That’s enough looking,” Sebastian warned, “She’s _my_ girl. You’ve got one.”

“I know. That doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate little Miss Curvalicious on your phone,” Anthony added.

“I just showed you that picture to prove that I’m a damn good friend for leaving HER to come get you, that’s all,” said a smiling Sebastian.

Anthony slapped Sebastian on the back.

“Your sacrifice is appreciated, man,” Anthony joked, “So when are you seeing her again?”

            “If I had my way, I’d go back to her place right after I drop you off, but she didn’t get much sleep last night.”

            Anthony elbowed his friend and they drove to the car dealership where Anthony’s car was being repaired.

            “Damn. Wore her out did you?” Anthony joked, earning an angry glare from Sebastian.

            “It’s not like that! She’s not like that!” Sebastian defended himself. He didn’t want anyone thinking you were just another notch on his belt. He wanted didn’t want a fuck buddy. He wanted a serious girlfriend. You were the total package and, as hard as it was, he was willing to wait to unwrap it.

            “So, you and cutie pie just talked all night? Yeah right.” Anthony asked, pointing to the street where Sebastian would need to make a right.

            “We didn’t just talk. There was some kissing too… I’m not saying anything else, except that I really like her,” Sebastian explained.

            As the friends pulled into the dealership, Anthony exited the car then walked around to the driver’s side and leaned into the open window.

            “Well, then go get your woman later. Maybe Mia and I can meet you two tonight and we can all hang out,” Anthony offered.

Sebastian thought about it for a moment. While he didn’t want to pressure you into something you weren’t ready for, he wanted you to know how he felt. The selfish part of him also wanted to give you as much PDA as possible.

“I’ll talk to her later and see what she’s doing, okay,” Sebastian added. He waved to his friend and pulled away.

As he headed back to his apartment, he resisted the temptation to drive past his place and head to yours. He wanted to see you again, but he knew you were sleepy. You deserved to rest. Still, the memory of you lying next to him was so fresh and so perfect. He had to at least text you; reach out to you in some way if he couldn’t touch you for real.

Sebastian pulled into the parking space in front of his home and sat in his car for several minutes. He sent you a text message and after you responded, he couldn’t wipe the smirk off of his face. He ascended the steps of his house, stripped off his clothes and fell onto his bed. For the first time since he purchased it, the king-sized mattress felt empty. Something was missing. You were missing.

In that moment, he decided that this would be the last time he crawled between those sheets without you lying next to him.

&****&

 

You went to bed after filling Mia in on the details from your night with Sebastian. She hugged you several times during your explanation. You were so glad to have someone in your life like Mia. She was the sister you always wanted; kind, outgoing, and fun to be around. You didn’t know what you would do without her in your life and you prayed you’d never have to find out.

            You slept for three hours before your eyes popped open on their own. You showered and dressed in casual clothes, thinking of Sebastian and what you would say to him once you gathered the courage to pick up the phone and call him like you’d promised.

            For some reason, you didn’t know what you wanted to say to him. You paced for several minutes before gathering the courage to dial his number. You were about to chicken out after the second ring, when you heard him answer.

            “Hi,” he said, his voice sounding deep, but cheerful.

            “Hey,” you said as you blushed. Why did you still feel nervous just talking to him on the phone? You were kissing him on your porch a few hours earlier and you continued to feel like a teenager experiencing puppy love for the first time.

Sebastian finally broke the somewhat uncomfortable silence.

            “Did you get some sleep?” he asked.

            “Yeah. I did. Thanks for asking. Did you get any rest?” you asked him.

            There was a brief pause before he answered you.

            “A little bit,” he said with what sounded like a hint of sorrow in his voice.

            “Why? Do you have usually have a hard time sleeping during the day?” you inquired, knowing that many people can’t sleep when the sun is up, regardless of how dark they make their bedrooms.

            “No,” he said softly.

            “Oh, no. Why not?” you asked him, finding yourself worried about him more than you expected.

            “I just had a lot on my mind, that’s all,” he clarified.

            “Anything I can help with?” you asked.

            “Yeah, actually. I was wondering if you wanted to go out again tonight,” Sebastian said. You could almost hear the smile in his voice. You closed your eyes, wishing you could see it. The reservations you were feeling earlier dissipated a bit and you lost yourself in happiness of the moment.

            “I’d love you – I mean, I’d love to,” you stammered.

            Several agonizing seconds passed.

“You love me?” he asked.

            You began to panic. Your heart beat so hard in your ears that you didn’t even hear your own explanation.

            “I’m sorry. I meant that I’d love to go out tonight,” you explained.

            He chuckled softly on the other end of the line.

            “Don’t be sorry,” Sebastian said, “Just promise me something.”

You took a deep breath, wondering what he had in mind and feeling a little nervous about what kind of promise he wanted you to make.

“What’s that?” you finally asked him.

“Promise me that the next time you say you love me, that it won’t be an accident,” he added.

You stopped breathing and swallowed hard. All of this was too perfect and too fast. You wanted to believe him, but you also needed to protect yourself.

“I think I can handle that. Although, I’m always nervous about being the one to say the ‘L’ word first,” you explained, hoping he would understand your caution.

“Don’t worry,” Sebastian said, “I’ll be the one to say it first.”


	5. Chapter 5

**The New Guy: Chapter 5**

By V.C. Turner

           

            You felt hopeful after your phone conversation with Sebastian, but something in the back of your mind still wanted to exercise caution. Though he hinted at saying ‘I love you’ sometime in the future, it still felt impossible to believe. Those feelings usually developed over a long period of time, yet after two months of knowing you, he seemed ready to blurt it out as soon as the opportunity arose. You didn’t trust it. You had no idea of what he could possibly want from you other than sex, which was a dangerous prospect since you worked together. Your heart sank at the possibility that this relationship would probably end very badly.

Despite your ongoing reservations, you agreed to a double date with Mia and Anthony to make things more comfortable for you. You worried that being alone with him would only give him another opportunity to seduce you, if that’s what he wanted.

You called Mia over to your place so the two of you could get ready for the date together. The beautiful brunette strolled into your apartment holding a garment bag and you immediately knew you were in trouble. She’d already picked something out for you and insisted that you wear it. She bought it with the gift card you gave to her as a birthday present. You felt guilty about Mia spending her gift on you, but that guilt faded once you saw the outfit she’d picked out: a sexy red off-the-shoulder top, a black camisole that showed your cleavage, a pair of black leggings and a new pair of high heeled boots. You loved her choice of outfit, but it seemed a little too sexy since you were just going to the movies and hanging out at the local pub.

Still, you appreciated her efforts to make sure you possessed a sexy look that displayed all of your assets.

“Mia, how the hell am I going to thank you for this?” you asked as you gazed at the new outfit.

“By finally getting yourself good and laid tonight,” she replied.

Your mouth flew open even though you weren’t really shocked by what she said.

“Mia, this is technically our second date,” you pointed out, “We’re not getting naked tonight.”

Mia raised her eyebrow for a second; a gesture that usually meant she didn’t believe a word you said.

“Well, just in case, why don’t you wear that black lace bra and panty set I bought for you last Christmas?” Mia suggested.

You smiled and walked to your dresser, pulling out the lingerie.

“Mia, sometimes I think your sole purpose in life is to make sure I have sex,” you told her with a chuckle.

“Girl, it’s not my sole purpose in life, but it is in the top three,” Mia insisted.

            You walked to your friend, wrapped your arms around her, and gave her a tight squeeze.

            “I love you, Mia,” you told her with tears in your eyes.

            Mia held your face and looked in your eyes.

            “Te quiero, mi hermana,” she replied.

            For years you asked for the universe to bless you with a sister. The day you met Mia, those prayers were finally answered.

           

*****

As you and Mia pulled into the parking spot, you spotted Sebastian and Anthony standing at the entrance to the movie theater. You heart leapt into your throat because it was the first time you’d seen him since your kiss that morning. He wore a blue jean shirt with a black t-shirt underneath and a pair of hip-hugging jeans. Your mouth watered.

Your lips still felt the imprint of his. To stop the tingling sensation that the memory created, you bit your lip as you opened the car door. You had no idea what to say to him. Did he regret kissing you? Was he just curious about what it would be like to be with a big girl? You knew he would eventually hurt you, and you believed the sooner you accepted that fact, the better off you would be in the long run.

            Mia wasted no time sprinting toward Anthony and jumping into his arms. You watched him swing her around and felt slightly envious that you couldn’t do the same with Sebastian. You gathered the courage to look at him. His smile made you weak, as usual. You felt your cheeks heat up as you carefully approached him. Your heart beat heavily in your ears.

            Sebastian motioned for you to jump into his arms, but you shook your head – mostly in shame. You knew you were too heavy to do such a thing, regardless of how strong he seemed to be. Once you stood in front of him, you reached for his hands and explained.

            “I can’t do that,” you told him.

            “Is it the heels?” he asked, referring to your boots.

            “No,” you admitted, as you bit your bottom lip, “I’m too heavy and I’d knock you over.”

            Even in the dress boots, you still had to stand on your tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

            “You missed,” he said, lifting your chin and kissing you softly in the lips as he held you.

            You lost yourself in the sweet caress of his mouth against yours, wrapping your arms around his neck and not caring who might be watching the two of you. Soon, you felt his grip slip lower as he picked you up easily and spun you around before placing you back on your feet. For a brief moment, you felt as light as a feather. Sebastian did that.

“I should probably ask you how you feel about public displays of affection,” Sebastian said.

            “It’s…um…it’s fine,” you tell him, “I’m just not used to it.”

            Sebastian leaned over and pressed his lips to your ear.

            “You’ll get used to it,” Sebastian whispered.

            You felt his hand slide into yours as he led you into the movie theater. Anthony and Mia walked in front of you. Your best friend kept sneaking knowing glances at you as everyone headed inside. The four of you chatted about the weather, work, and a series of random topics as you moved through the long line at the theater. Everyone voted to see the new Marvel movie that just came out. Mia and Anthony stood in front of you, while Sebastian wrapped his arms around you from behind, and securely held you to his chest.

            His cologne smelled divine. Everything about him was perfect and it somehow made you feel less perfect to be on a date with someone so attractive. You wanted to feel comfortable. You wanted to feel as if you belonged with this group of beautiful people. In reality, you stood out among your friends: the sexy and petite Latina, the gorgeous brother with style, the blue-eyed Romanian god…and the fat black girl you faced in the mirror every day.

            Once you arrived at the ticket counter, Sebastian moved to stand at your side as he reached for his wallet. You began digging in your purse.

            “What are you doing?” he asked as he whipped out his credit card.

            “I just thought I’d – ” you started to say.

            “Honey, put that away,” he said sweetly.

            Sebastian paid for the tickets then held your hand as you walked to the concession stand. You examined all of the items and found absolutely nothing healthy on the menu. Most of the things listed were full of fat, sugar, and tended to drip on your clothing. You didn’t want him to think you pigged out at places like this, but if he wants you, he should definitely see the real you. Your mind made up, you were ready when he asked for your order.

            “Do you know what you want?” Sebastian asked.

            “Yeah. Can I have a pretzel dog, a small order of nachos, and a root beer?” you asked, nibbling your lip and hoping it didn’t sound like too much.

            Sebastian winked at you.

            “My kinda girl,” he said, then he turned to the cashier, “That’ll be two pretzel dogs, two small nachos, and two root beers.”

            You smiled at him and went to grab the napkins and straws at the far end of the counter.

            As Sebastian paid for the food, you overheard the tall blonde cashier begin to flirt with him. She carefully examined his credit card after swiping it, then rushed to introduce herself as she handed it back.

            “Hi Sebastian, I’m Crystal,” she says, holding out her hand.

            Sebastian frowned at her hand and politely shook it. You tried to watch nonchalantly just to see what his reaction would be to another woman coming on to him. To be fair, the girl behind the counter would look better on his arm than you ever could. Yes, you were cute, but you couldn’t really hold a candle to someone like that. You braced yourself for his response.

            Sebastian immediately called you over to him.

            “Hey (y/n). Can you come here a second, doll?” Sebastian asked.

            You walked toward him, clutching the napkins and straws in one hand.

            Sebastian wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

            “Crystal, this is my girlfriend (y/n.) (Y/N), this is Crystal,” Sebastian announced.

            The young woman stammered, looking between the two of you, and then gave you a haphazard smile.

            Sebastian grabbed the cardboard tray of food and you both walked into the theater together. You felt relieved that he didn’t want the advances of another woman, but you were pissed that someone had the audacity to flirt with your man…right in front of you.

            Then something hit you: Sebastian referred to you as his _girlfriend_. You thought you were just his date. He probably used the term _girlfriend_ just to quickly end the conversation with the cashier. You soon pushed the thought from your mind and continued on with your evening.

Sebastian found a pair of seats nestled in the center of the theater that seemed isolated from the others. He motioned for you to sit down first, and then he took his seat next to you. You noticed him staring at you as you made yourself comfortable. His attention made you smile and you were grateful to be in the darkened theater so he couldn’t see it.

“You look beautiful, by the way,” he said, as he looked you up and down, “I should have said that earlier.”

“Thanks. So do you,” you muttered, “I mean, you look handsome. Of course, you always look handsome…you know what - I’m going to shut up now.”

Sebastian smiled.

“It’s okay. I’m nervous too,” he pointed out.

His statement shocked you.

“Why are you nervous?” you asked as you took a careful bite of your pretzel dog.

“I don’t want to mess this up,” Sebastian offered.

You couldn’t believe he would be worried about something like that. This man could have anyone he wanted. For some reason, he chose you. There was nothing you could think of him doing that would destroy this night. You, on the other hand, were worried about every movement you made. Each time you took a sip of your drink, or a bite out of your food, you believed something would spill on your sexy new outfit and you would spend the rest of the night trying to hide a huge stain.

            “I don’t really think there is any danger of you doing that,” you said.

            You continued to watch the series of movie trailers that played before the feature film began. Occasionally, you glanced over at Sebastian and caught him staring at you. You took your time eating your food, fearing the worst but hoping for the best.

            Your hopes were dashed when you felt a few drops of warm nacho cheese land on top of your left breast. Glad that it didn’t land on your clothes, you quickly reached for a napkin only to be stopped by Sebastian.

            He took his left index finger and scooped up the cheese, sliding it into his mouth and giving you a wink that made your body burst into flames. Your mouth hung open. You weren’t offended. You were aroused.

            “Can’t let anything this tasty go to waste, now can we?” he flirted.

            It felt like several minutes passed by before you answered him.

            “I don’t really have a good response for that,” you confessed. You covered your face as you smiled, but he pulled your hand away.

            “Don’t do that,” he pleaded.

            “Don’t do what?”

            “Don’t hide your face. I want to see you,” he said. Sebastian stroked your cheek and you forgot the reason you were there in the first place. The sounds from the theater seemed to fade into the background as he looked into your eyes.

            Sebastian put his arm on the back of your seat and you instinctively snuggled close as the movie played. He leaned in and kissed your cheek. You fell under his spell again. When he turned to face the movie screen, you kissed his cheek and he smiled.

            You eventually turned to look at Sebastian again, only to find yourself nose to nose with him. Then you felt it: that irresistible pull toward him and the warmth of his lips approaching yours. You held your breath, knowing what was going to happen but still never fully ready for the moment when he kissed you. Sebastian placed his left hand on your cheek as he deepened the kiss and your heart stilled in your chest. The moment was perfect, until you felt the impact of something light, but solid on the back of your head. You pulled away from Sebastian and looked down to see an empty drink cup on the floor next to you.

            “What the hell?” Sebastian asked, looking up at the moviegoers seated behind you. Neither of you could not see the culprit due to the darkened theater, but you both heard a voice say, “Get a room!”

            Sebastian began to stand up, but you stopped him.

            “It’s fine,” you told him, tugging him down toward you.

            “It’s not fine! Some asshole threw something at you,” he said with thinly veiled anger in his voice.

            “I know, but let it go for now, okay?” you insisted, “Just sit next to me.”

            Sebastian sat back down only after giving the throng of people behind you the “evil eye.”

            You held his hand and turned his face toward yours. His breathing slowed as he studied your soft features.

            “You’re right,” he whispered, “I’d rather look at you.”

            He pulled you close to him in a gesture both protective and romantic.

            When the movie ended, you headed into the hallway not realizing that you were still holding hands until a few other patrons cast some confused glances your way. You felt out of place but determined to enjoy the evening despite the skeptical onlookers.

            The next stop turned out to be a local bar and grill that had great food as well as pool tables, a small arcade, and other activities to rake in money from adults seeking a good time on a Saturday evening.

            After chowing down on appetizers, Mia and Anthony visited the arcade, while you and Sebastian tried your luck at pool. Ten years ago, you played pool on a regular basis, shocking everyone around you with your expertise at running the table. On this night, however, you worried that your skills had faltered over time. Sebastian set up the table and took the first shot. He didn’t sink any of the balls, so it was your turn.

            Focused on your task, you lined up your shot and sank one of the striped balls. You continued to sink one ball after the other while a small group of spectators watched you. Sebastian walked up to you before you set up your next shot and placed a kiss to your right temple.

            “Are you good at everything you do?” he asked.

            “Yep,” you lied, giving him a smile.

            Sebastian laughed.

            “I figured,” he said, “I’m going to grab a drink since it’s going to be a while before I get a turn.”

            He kissed you on the cheek and then walked up to the bar as you prepared to make your next shot.

 

***

 

            Sebastian ordered a club soda and leaned against a stool as he watched you play. He admired the time you took to look at the entire table before deciding on your next move. You seemed to approach life the same way: with caution. He only hoped his determination to be with you wouldn’t scare you away.

            “Is that your girl, man?” a tall, handsome black man asked Sebastian, as he pointed in your direction.

            Sebastian smiled proudly.

            “I’m working on it,” he responded as he took a drink.

            He watched as you sunk a difficult shot, then sauntered around the pool table like you owned it.

            “You’ve got good taste, my friend,” the gentleman said, “I’m Winston, by the way.”

            “I’m Sebastian… and thanks,” Sebastian said with a smile, “She doesn’t even realize how amazing she is.”

            “Have you ever dated a sister before?” Winston asked, genuinely curious.

            “Winston, I’ve dated all kinds of women, all shapes, sizes, ethnicities, …but this one is in a class by herself. I mean, yeah, she’s beautiful, but she’s so damn smart, and nice, and sweet; easy to talk to…she’s the one – man. I knew it the day I met her,” Sebastian explained.

            “Damn, if she’s all that – and she can cook – I say marry her quick,” Winston suggested, tapping his glass against Sebastian’s in a toast.

            Sebastian stared as you leaned over and made another shot.

            “I don’t care if she can cook or not. I’ll do all the cooking. I just want to be with her,” said Sebastian.

            “Then don’t just stand here gawking. Go for it, man,” Winston added, patting Sebastian on the back before joining his wife at the pinball machines.

 

***

           

            You missed knocking the next ball into the corner pocket and looked behind you to notice Sebastian walking in your direction.

            “Were you sending bad vibes my way?” you asked, batting your eyes at him without knowing whether or not it would work.

            Sebastian leaned in and planted a kiss on your inviting lips. He hovered there; his warmth engulfing you as his cheek brushed against yours. You felt his arms slip around your waist and suddenly the game didn’t matter. In a room full of people, the two of you stood alone. He took a deep breath of your perfume and kissed your neck. The sensation of his lips against your skin, coupled with his warm breath on your collarbone made you shiver.

            “Sebastian, that tickles,” you cautioned him.

            “That’s kinda why I’m doing it, doll,” he whispered in your ear.

            You closed your eyes at hearing his words. You wanted to stay in the moment as long as possible. You wanted to be “his girl” and you wanted the world to know that you were the one who stole his heart, but when you opened your eyes, you felt self-conscious again. You noticed a few people staring at you and Sebastian. The two of you didn’t fit; different skin colors, different body types, different in so many ways. No matter how it perfect it felt in the moment, you knew it was temporary.

            His hands traveled down to your hips as he gave you a possessive squeeze. Sebastian clearly had no difficulty with PDA. He didn’t seem to care how many people saw the two of you together. Still, alarm bells began to ring in your head, begging you to leave so that judgmental eyes wouldn’t interrupt your moment of bliss.

            “We should get out of here,” you told him, “People are watching us.”

            “Let ‘em watch,” Sebastian said.

            He looked into your eyes, lifted your chin, and kissed you softly. You didn’t think you would ever get used to how wonderful it felt to have his lips against yours. Still, the mumbles from the other people in the room made you too nervous to fully enjoy it. Reluctantly, you separated your mouth from his.

            “Let’s head home. It feels weird having people stare at me,” you admitted as you bit your lip and looked around.

            A small smile tugged at his lips.

            “Half the single guys in this room were staring at you every time you leaned over to make a shot,” he stated with pride.

            “They probably haven’t ever seen an ass this big,” you cynically pointed out.

            Sebastian’s face fell. He stepped back, took the pool cue from your hands and laid it on the table. His face remained stoic as he led you both outside of the bar. He opened your car door and waited for you to sit down before he closed it, but didn’t give you his usual wink. He faced forward as he sat down and started the car. You considered texting Mia that you should have stayed with her and Anthony rather than being alone with Sebastian.

            You’d finally done it. You ruined the entire relationship in one sentence. You knew he’d realize that he was too good for you. You also knew your insecurities would eventually be your downfall. Why did you have to bitch about your weight when things were going so well between the two of you? Why did you let the looks you received from others mess with your mind?

            As he drove down the street, his eyes remained fixed on the road. He didn’t appear angry, but he did look disappointed and you believed he was upset that he’d allowed himself to be attracted to you in the first place.

            His voice finally broke you from your thoughts.

            “I - we have to make a quick stop at the store to get a few snacks. I don’t have anything at the house. Anthony and Mia want to hang out for a little while,” he said softly.

            The car pulled into an empty parking space at the nearest convenience store. You got out before he had a chance to walk around and open your door. In reality, a part of you wanted to get out of the car so quickly because you didn’t want to be disappointed if he decided not to open your door. You figured he was frustrated with you or frustrated with himself for allowing your relationship to go so far, so quickly. He was just curious, you told yourself. He apparently satisfied that curiosity more quickly than he’d expected and he now sought a graceful exit.            Eventually, they all did.

            He found a small shopping cart and proceeded to grab some snacks from the shelf. He didn’t look at you as you walked by his side. You pointed at a bag of low-sodium chips and he nodded for you to add them to the cart. As you rounded one of the aisles, Sebastian finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

            “Why did you say that back there?” he solemnly asked, “You’re beautiful. I don’t understand why you don’t believe that.”

            His statement came just as you passed a rack of magazines and books. You walked around and pointed out the covers to him.

            “You see all these?” you began, “Show me a single one of them that has someone on the cover who looks like me. You can’t. You can’t because in the eyes of the world, I don’t exist when it comes to beauty. I’m an overweight black woman. The only way someone who looks like me is going to be on the cover of a magazine is as the ‘before’ picture of someone who is now skinny. Society is great at telling people like me to love ourselves just the way we are, but they’re pretty damn shitty at showing it. They’re always telling us what to wear, how to lose weight, add mountains of makeup, play games to catch men, then they turn around and tell us it’s ‘okay to just be ourselves.’”

            Sebastian looked at you, a bit of hurt reflected in his eyes as he watched yours tear up.

            “You know. When I started to gain weight, all my family did was offer suggestions as to how I needed to lose it, or scare me with all the medical things that could go wrong from being fat. They kept reminding me of how small I was in high school and college. Some of them even went so far as to pinch my rolls of fat and say ‘You’re getting big now. You need to quit that eatin’ or no one is going to want you.’ My own family, Sebastian! People that are supposed to love ME no matter what… So yeah, I have a hard time believing that anyone, especially someone as gorgeous as you, looks at me with anything other than disgust or pity,” you said.

            You didn’t wait for his reaction. You didn’t need or want one. You just wanted to get away from the reality of what you said. You walked outside and leaned against his locked car. Tears fell from your eyes uncontrollably. A few minutes later, you heard the car unlock. Sebastian walked up to you holding the grocery bags in his left hand and his keys in his right. He placed a kiss to the tope of your head, and then opened the car door for you to get inside. You felt droplets of rain as they fell on your skin just before he shut the door.

            After depositing the groceries in the trunk, Sebastian sat down in the driver’s seat. He placed the key in the ignition, but he didn’t start the car. The two of you sat in silence as the rain began to fall more heavily, covering the windshield and pelting the roof of the car.

            Sebastian took a deep breath before he spoke. You feared the worst.

            “Society doesn’t need to see what I do,” he said softly, “But it would be nice if you saw it.”

            You wiped the tears from your cheeks and looked at him. No words came to mind at that moment. You just stared into his blue eyes and searched for something; anything to make you believe him…. to believe in him.

            Sebastian then leaned over and kissed your tear-stained cheek. He started the car and drove you to his apartment in silence. During the car ride, he reached over and held your hand, gently stroking the back of it with his thumb. Somehow, he seemed to know that no amount of words he uttered would be enough to wash away all the years of hurt and insecurity you felt. Once he pulled into his parking space, you expected him to release your hand. He didn’t. Instead, he brought it to his lips and kissed it, giving you a reassuring smile before popping the trunk.

            The rain came down much harder and neither of you had an umbrella. The two of you hurried quickly into his apartment. Your clothes were soaking wet by the time he unlocked the door and let you inside.

“Sooner or later, I’m going to remember to keep an umbrella in that damn car,” he noted.

You shivered as soon as your damp skin felt the cool air in his apartment. You had covered your head in the rain, which left your hair mostly dry, but your new outfit was soaked through. You wrapped your arms around yourself to stay warm as you looked around.

Sebastian dropped the groceries on the nearest table.

            “Be right back,” he said, before he darted down the hallway.

            You shivered in his absence. You tried to think of something other than how cold you felt. You scanned the dimly lit room and noticed the dark green furniture – sectional sofa and recliner. A large flat screen TV hung on the wall, but other than that, the room wasn’t fully decorated. It appeared as if he never finished unpacking and didn’t think it was necessary.

            Sebastian entered the room again, holding a towel in one hand and a set of dry clothes in the other.

            “Honey, you’re shivering. I turned up the heat, but here,” he said, handing you the clothes, “Put these on so you can get warm. I’ll put yours in the dryer.”

            You held up the light blue button down pajama shirt and black shorts. He watched you carefully as you looked at the sizes on the tags. You thought his clothes would be too tight on you, but after your earlier diatribe, you worried about discussing your weight again.

            “Are you sure these are going to fit?” you finally asked as you bit your lip.

            He raised an eyebrow at you.

            “I have boobs,” you said to qualify your statement, “It might be a little snug in that area.”

            He gave you a wink.

            “I don’t see that as a problem. Go on. My bedroom is at the end of the hall,” he said, giving you an empty plastic bag for your wet clothes.

            _Bedroom_ , you thought to yourself. You nodded at him and headed down the hallway to his room. Like his living room, it was sparse. A wooden dresser, a night table, and a king sized bed barely filled the room. His open closet held a number of suits, shirts and slacks, all neatly hanging up.

            You stripped down, hoping at least your lingerie was dry. It wasn’t. You didn’t want to remove them, but there was no point in putting dry clothes over wet ones. You removed the lace bra and panty set, standing naked in his bedroom as you dried yourself off. You dropped your clothes in the bag. You then put on the shorts and had to use the drawstring because they were starting to fall down on you. You slipped on the pajama shirt and were surprised at just how comfortable it was. You left the buttons open at the top so that your cleavage showed.

            When you walked back into the living room, you noticed that the groceries had been put away, but Sebastian wasn’t in sight. You leaned forward against the back of the sofa and looked around again. Your senses heightened a bit as you felt him enter the room. He walked up behind you. His arms encircled your waist. You loved the way it felt every time he held you. You wanted to freeze each moment in time and forget everything else.

            “Are you warm now?” he whispered in your right ear.

            “I’m getting there,” you admitted.

            “Turn around,” he requested, his lips attached to your ear.

            You turned around to face him. His hair was still a little wet, but he had changed into drier clothing – a t-shirt and a pair of grey cotton shorts. His eyes scanned you from head to toe as his fingers ran through your hair.

He glanced down at your mouth before pulling you to him and kissing you softly. Each time his lips connected with yours, you found yourself lost in a wave of emotions; most of them good, but others frightened you. Feeling this much, this soon, was almost more than you could handle.

            “Wanna dance with me?” he asked.

            He docked his phone in a set of speakers and turned on a slow R & B ballad.

            “We don’t have that kind of time, do we? Mia and Anthony will be here soon,” you warned.

            Sebastian retrieved his phone from the speakers and placed a call to his friend. His body pressed gently against yours as his free hand attached itself to your waist. His fingers made their way under the side of your shirt as he stroked your bare skin, sending delightful chills down your spine.

His forehead rested against yours as the call finally connected.

“What’s up man?” Anthony asked.

            “Anthony, hey. Look, can we do a raincheck on game night. (Y/N) and I want some time alone,” Sebastian said.

            “That’s cool. You guys have fun,” you heard Anthony say on the other end of the line.

            “Get it girl,” Mia teased.

            Embarrassed, you buried your face in his chest. Sebastian laughed.

            “Night guys,” he said and disconnected the phone.

            Sebastian turned the music on again and you began to dance in the middle of the living room. His 6 foot 1 frame towered over yours. He actually made you feel tiny in so many ways. You swayed together to the music, his lips soon pressed against your ear.

            “My clothes look good on you,” he offered.

            “Thanks,” you said, “I love how they feel.”

            Sebastian’s hands slid up the back of your shirt as his fingers ran along the bare skin underneath.

            “I love how _you_ feel,” he whispered.

            Your body reacted to his statement. Your nipples grew painfully hard as you instinctively leaned into his touch. Your breath went shallow as your eyes closed. You wanted every part of him: his heart, his mind, and his body. You were so willing to give in to him, but your mind kept telling you it was much too soon for that. You were about to retreat from his arms…until his lips connected with your neck. He planted kiss after kiss on your overheated skin. You nearly melted onto his hardwood floor.

            “Sebastian,” you moaned.

            “Yeah,” he said into your neck.

            You immediately lost your train of thought as he continued to kiss and nibble on your sensitive flesh. You ran your fingers through his hair and soon realized that he’d lifted you up and placed you on the back of the sofa. He released your neck only to claim your mouth again, this time his kiss felt hungry, and you could only respond by kissing him back with just as much desire. Your hands made their way down his back. You drew him so close that his crotch pressed against heat; only a few thin layers of fabric separated you.

            Heaving breathing, moaning, and the noise of wet kisses filled the room, sounding louder than the music playing from the stereo. He pressed against you as his tongue slid in your mouth. You welcomed him; allowing your tongue to dance with his while your legs opened wider, inviting him inside.

            It had to stop. You couldn’t have sex with him on the second date. Despite how incredible it would be, it was too soon to sleep with him. You forced yourself to gently push him back. Your lips, throbbing and swollen, missed his immediately.

            “Wait,” you said breathlessly.

            Sebastian stopped moving, but his breathing sounded ragged. He seemed almost as caught up as you were in the euphoria of it all.

            He spoke after several seconds.

            “You’re – um – you’re right,” he groaned, his hands still gripping your waist.

            When your head cleared, you began to feel insecure again. He had to feel your “love handles” beneath his fingers. Your body tensed a bit and you shifted your position a little so he wasn’t touching so much of your ample flesh. You couldn’t look in his eyes. Somehow, you still felt shy around him, despite all of the kisses and caresses you shared.

            “What’s wrong?” he asked.

            “Nothing,” you lied.

            He gave you a peck on the cheek.

            “I could tell you how beautiful I think you are, inside and out, but you won’t believe me yet. So, don’t listen…just feel,” he said softly.

            He placed your hand on his heart. You felt how hard and fast it was beating against your palm. He put his hand on top of yours and leaned over to whisper in your ear.

            “Feel that?” he asked.

            You nodded.

            “That’s what you do to me…every time I see you; every time I touch you, every time you walk into a room,” Sebastian admitted.

            Your breath caught in your throat.

            His eyes traveled down your body as if he didn’t even need to use his hands to undress you. He bit his lip and pressed into you, his lips planting wet kisses along your collarbone. You could feel his erection pressing hard against your stomach.

            “You feel that?” he asked.

            “Yeah,” you said weakly.

            “That’s how turned on I am when I’m with you, but no matter how much I want to make love to you right now, I’m going to wait until you’re ready to spend the whole weekend in bed with me, because that’s how long our first time is going to take,” he said.

            You stopped breathing and swallowed hard. You believed him. It made no sense, but you believed this beautiful man wanted you. His body spoke to you louder than his words ever could. In that moment, he had you. You just prayed he wouldn’t let go.

            Sebastian leaned in and began kissing you from your jawline to the base of your neck. He seemed to be drawn to you by some invisible magnet. His arms wrapped around you and his warmth seeped into your skin. You didn’t want him to know how much his touch turned you on because you felt revealing that would make you even more vulnerable to his methods of seduction.

            You ran your fingers through his soft hair and closed your eyes. You figured you could handle what he was doing a little while longer before you totally lost control. At that moment, he placed a small love bite on your neck. The erotic shock of the pain was instantly followed by the sensation of his tongue as it licked away the sting. Your core flooded with moisture. You bit your lip, trying to hold on for dear life.

            _“Oh God, I want this man,”_ you thought.

            You didn’t want to open yourself up to him, but you couldn’t help it. He tore down the walls around your heart with each kiss he gave you.

            You arched into his embrace…then it happened. A searing pain struck your lower back and your legs began to give way.

            Sebastian caught you, an expression of concern on his face.

            “Shit. Did I hurt you?” he asked, looking guilty.

            “No,” you told him, “I have back problems from a car accident. The rain isn’t helping. I’m so sorry.”

            You felt another powerful wave of shame at exposing yet another weakness in front of this beautiful man. Not only were you emotionally weak, you had also confessed to being physically weak. _Great_ , you thought, _Just give him another reason to find someone with fewer flaws._

            Lost in your own thoughts, you barely realized it when Sebastian picked you up and placed you gently on the sofa.

            “What can I do?” he asked, “I have some Tylenol if it helps.”

            You stroked his cheek.

            “I’ll be okay,” you said, “The pain goes away pretty quickly, but the muscles in my lower back tense up.”

            Sebastian gave you a wicked smile.

            “You know, if you want a massage, all you have to do is ask,” Sebastian offered.

            You smiled at him.

            “Can you?” you asked him.

            “Sure,” he said, “Lie down on your stomach.”

            You hesitated because lying on your stomach sometimes made things worse. You bit your lip and considered your next words carefully.

            “Lying down isn’t always the best way to give me a massage. It’s usually better if I’m sitting up facing the back of a chair; then someone gets behind me and massages it,” you pointed out.

            Sebastian then gave you the most mischievous grin you’d ever seen.

            “I have an idea,” he said.

            You were fully aware that nothing innocent ever came from a man saying: “I have an idea.” Still, you felt uncomfortable and you didn’t want your back troubles to ruin your night with the most handsome man you’d ever met.

            Sebastian walked around you and sat in the middle of the sofa. He then patted both sides of the cushion on which he was sitting.

            “Get up here,” he sweetly ordered.

            Was this man crazy? You were going to squish him. You didn’t want that.

            “I’m too big,” you finally said.

            “No you’re not. Get up here,” he insisted.

            You slowly turned to face him and then stood up on weak legs. You looked down at him as he looked up at you with anticipation.

            “Sebastian, I’m too heavy to do this. I don’t want to hurt you,” you pointed out, again hating the reference to your weight. Sebastian could say he liked your curves all he wanted. That didn’t mean he wanted to be crushed by them.

            “Get up here,” he playfully demanded.

            “Are you sure?” you asked.

            Sebastian nodded and you slowly placed one knee on each side of him.

            You gently sank your full weight on him then waited for him to beg you to get up.

            But he didn’t.

            “Comfortable?” Sebastian asked, as if you weighed nothing.

            You nodded. You sat eye level with him, so temped to place a kiss on his full lips.

            “Satisfied?” you asked.

            “Working on it,” he flirted.

            Sebastian slipped his hands up the back of your pajama shirt. He began to rub and knead your flesh, starting at your mid-back.

            “Lower,” you requested.

            Sebastian rubbed lower, hitting the perfect spot on your back and releasing some of the muscle tension. You moaned loudly, your head falling onto his right shoulder.

            “Damn, doll! You’re not allowed to sound that sexy when I’m trying to be a gentleman,” Sebastian cautioned.

            You chuckled a bit as he continued to massage the unforgiving muscles near your spine until they began to relent. You had forgotten how sensitive you became when someone massaged you. Your lower back turned into one large erogenous zone with each swipe of his expert hands.

            You moaned again, your muscles relaxing in a euphoric “back orgasm.”

            You felt Sebastian’s manhood become rock hard between your legs. You sat up to face him and apologize for inadvertently turning him on, but the second your eyes met, his lips found yours.

            His fingers continued to knead your back as the two of you kissed. Instinctively, your body pressed gently against his. This time, he let out a moan as his tongue slipped into your mouth. You reveled in his touch, feeling him squirm beneath you as his erection twitched against your inner thigh.

            His hands left your lower back and soon cupped your face as you traded kisses that varied from sensual to sweet. His lips made their way to your collarbone and you started to whisper his name.

            His breathing ragged, Sebastian began to unbutton the pajama top you wore, and no part of you wanted to stop him. Your treasure became incredibly wet with each grind of his hips. His clothed cock brushed against your sensitive nub. Your skin, damp from his kisses, began to tingle. Your shirt hung open except for one button just above your navel.

            Drunk on passion, he looked up in your eyes as his hands gripped your waist. Without thinking, you nodded just before his nose nudged away the fabric covering your left breast. His tongue flicked the erect bud and your head fell back. Sebastian’s lips gently sucked on the nipple as his tongue mercilessly laved circles around it. Your fingers raked through his soft hair. Your body acted on pure lust as you gently rocked your hips.

            A loud knock broke through the fog of passion engulfing both of you. It gave you time to clear your head and realize that you allowed yourself to go way too far with him. This is probably what he wanted from you in the first place: sex.

            You clasped your shirt and stood up. Sebastian’s eyes remained darkened with desire, but they soon began to clear as you backed away and looked at the door. Whoever interrupted the two of you saved you from yourself. You felt the twin sensations of anger and gratitude for the intrusion.

            Sebastian stood up and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before he adjusted his clothes in an attempt to hide the massive erection tenting his shorts. The knock on the door repeated, this time sounding more like a group of people knocking at once. He peered through the peephole and grimaced before bracing his foot against the door and opening it slightly.

            You took that moment to hurry down the hallway and get dressed. You heard mumbling in the other room, but you ignored it so you could grab your panties and bra from the dryer. Until that moment, you felt incredibly sexy in his arms. This gorgeous man wanted you; smothered you with kisses and nearly had your top off. But you didn’t want his friends to see you. You didn’t want to embarrass him.

            You slipped on your lingerie and pulled out the rest of your clothes as the talking got louder in the other room. Apparently they had pushed their way inside.

            “Poker night, my man,” one guy said, “Don’t you remember that tonight’s your night to host.”

            “Some other time, guys, I’m in the middle of something,” Sebastian said, attempting to sound polite, but you could hear the frustration in his voice.

            Having never been in this situation, you didn’t know what you should do. A part of you wanted to close the bedroom door and wait for him to get rid of his obnoxious friends. The other part of you, the defiant part, wondered why he didn’t just tell them that he had a date. Was he ashamed of you? Was he just trying to be gentleman?

            Boldness prevailed as you snuck into the bedroom and grabbed one of his dress shirts. You slipped it on, only fastening the bottom buttons and leaving the rest of the shirt open to reveal your sexy lace bra. You stood in front of his dresser and quickly finger-combed your hair into a somewhat seductive style. You put on a hint of lip-gloss and took a deep breath.

            You gathered your courage and walked out toward the living room. You sauntered behind him, leaning seductively against the entrance to the hallway, and in full view of the men milling at the front door. They silenced their requests and stared in your direction.

            You pouted your lips and looked at Sebastian.

            “Babe, you coming back to bed?” you asked him, awaiting his response.

            Expecting him to display a slight bit of embarrassment, you were surprised when he motioned for you walk over to him. You did so, sashaying your hips slightly. Once you reached him, he wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you up against him as his lips pressed to yours.

            He didn’t look in their direction when he spoke. His eyes were fixed on you. A wide smile spread across his face as his eyes roamed your scantly clad body.

            “Guys, this is (y/n),” Sebastian bragged, “Like I said: I’m in the middle of something.”

            While you were too nervous to look at them, you did hear a few whistles and mutters of approval.

            “Let’s go guys,” one man said, “He’s playing a different kind of poker tonight.”

            “Is this the work cutie you ain’t shut up about in weeks? Your ‘partner’” one guy asked.

            “Guys, get out,” Sebastian turned to them with a glare.

            “She’s so cute!” one friend pointed out.

            “Wait…is this Little Miss Curvalicous?” another asked.

            “Guys, I’m serious. Get out!” Sebastian demanded, pushing the men out and latching the door behind them.

            You could hear one of them singing, “Brown Sugar Babe…I gets high off your love, don’t know how to behave.”

            Had your skin been lighter, your face would have turned red. Instead, your cheeks felt almost as hot as the rest of you.

            Sebastian turned to you and licked his lips. You gave him a bashful expression, and batted your eyes.

            “Little Miss Curvalicious?” you asked with a mock anger.

            “Anthony started that. It’s a compliment. Curvy and delicious,” Sebastian explained.

            “So you think I’m …delicious?” you asked, playing with the buttons that hid the rest of your body from his hungry gaze.

            Sebastian nodded as he bit his bottom lip. He then watched you flick open another button on your shirt, exposing your lingerie. You looked down at his shorts and noticed his growing erection. He did want you for some reason. Men can’t exactly fake a hard-on. The question rolled around in your mind as to whether or not you would give in to him tonight. You wanted to wait. You knew you should wait.

            Your body…in that moment…didn’t give a damn about waiting.

            “You know,” he said, “That just became my favorite shirt.”

            “Is that so?” you asked.

            Sebastian nodded, taking a slow step in your direction. He pointed at you.

            “Yeah, and I’m going to need that back,” he added.

            You tugged on the collar as you spoke.

            “If you want this, you have to come and get it,” you stated backing down the hallway; daring him to chase you before you considered if he’d actually do it.

            Sebastian smirked then sprinted in your direction. You let out a squeal and started down the hallway, but running from him seemed pointless. You couldn’t gain good footing on his hardwood floor and he caught you easily, tickling your sides until you burst out laughing. He picked you up and spun you around, placing you gently on the floor before grabbing your waist and nuzzling your cheek.

            “God, I love you,” he blurted out.

            You froze. You thought you heard wrong until he backed up enough to look in your eyes.

            You felt like apologizing for him because it just wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.

            “I…I know that just slipped out,” you quietly said, looking away from him.

            Sebastian lifted your chin so you couldn’t avoid his gaze.

            “I know I probably shouldn’t have said that so soon, but I meant it. I am falling in love with you,” he admitted as his right his hand moving up to cradle the back of your neck while his thumb stroked your cheek.

            You shuddered in his arms, not knowing what to do. The confession you wanted to hold back was about to burst forward without reservation. You looked in his eyes as your heart pounded in your ears.

            You didn’t even hear your reply, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

            “And I’m falling in love with you,” you told him.

            Sebastian held onto you tightly. You felt his slow exhale against your face. It worried you. He appeared to be contemplating something serious.

            “I want to ask you something,” he said in soft voice.

            Your level of worry increased to epic proportions.

            “What is it?” you asked.

            A slight smirk appeared on Sebastian’s face as your handsome co-worker got down on one knee and looked up at you. His blue eyes scanned your face. You began to panic. There was no way he was doing this, you told yourself. _He can’t be doing this right now_ , you thought.

            Sebastian reached for your left hand and held it.

            “Wait…Wha…Wha… What are you doing?” you asked him…internally questioning the sanity of all of this.

            “Relax, Doll. It’s just a question,” he said with a smile.

            You began to stammer.

            “Yeah, but…. people only get down on one knee if they’re -,” you started to say in a flustered voice.

            “Don’t worry,” he said as he rubbed his thumb against the back of your hand. He made small circles on your ring finger and looked up into your eyes like a puppy begging for something.

Several seconds of silence followed, as he seemed to be considering his words carefully before he spoke.

            “I’ve been dying to ask you this for a while,” he began.

            You swore your heart stopped in that moment. Your mouth flew open, but no words came out.

            He continued.

            “(Y/N) … will you be my girlfriend?” he asked.

            You released the breath you’d been holding. Tears filled your eyes as you nodded.

            “Yes,” you said softly, hoping he heard it.

            Sebastian stood, encircling you with his arms again and giving you another kiss that made you weak in the knees. You felt relief. You relaxed a little now that you finally possessed some reassurance that he wanted more than just a bed buddy. You still had your doubts about the direction of the relationship and what would happen once you both returned to work on Monday, but you decided to deal with that later. In that moment, you wanted to enjoy the fact that you were Sebastian’s girl.

            “You okay?” he whispered, breaking you from your thoughts.

            “Yeah,” you whispered back as a tear fell on his shoulder.

            He pulled back and wiped the remaining tears from your eyes.

            “I’m hoping the crying is a good thing,” Sebastian offered.

            “It is,” you told him as your hands rested on his waist.

            He lifted your chin.

            “Good, because that won’t be the last time I get down on one knee in front of you,” Sebastian said, leaning closer, “And when I do… I want another ‘Yes.’ ”

 

***

 

            Under the cover of darkness, someone watched as the lights turned off in Sebastian’s apartment. The show was over. Even the hidden camera placed in the living room ceiling fan couldn’t detect any movement.

            A call was placed to provide an update on your relationship.

            “Hello?” a husky voice said on the other end of the line.

            “It looks like she’s spending the night,” the caller said.

            “Understood.”

            “Should we take care of this now before it gets too serious?” the caller asked.

            “No,” the voice said, “Some lessons need to be learned the hard way.”

            “The longer we wait, the more painful it will be,” the caller added, turning on the car engine and waiting for the black Cadillac Escalade to warm up.

            “I’ve found that pain can be an effective tool if wielded correctly,” the voice said, “Let them be for tonight…The pain will come soon enough.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

The New Guy  
Chapter 6  
By V.C. Turner

Sebastian led you down the hallway and into his bedroom, which was illuminated by six large candles placed throughout the room. The golden glow within the intimate living space made you wonder if he expected a night of passion, rather than a night of sleep. Giving in to him would be so easy. Between the emotional words you’d exchanged as well as the passionate kisses, you believed you didn’t have the willpower to keep the rest of your clothes on throughout the night.   
You stood at the foot of the bed and waited for Sebastian to make the next move. He did. He pulled back the covers and gave you a look that required no explanation. You slid between the sheets and quickly placed the comforter over your legs. You couldn’t hide your emotions from him, but you could at least cover up your thighs and stomach.  
Sebastian blew out all of the candles except the ones sitting on his nightstand. As you leaned against the headboard, he sat down facing you and took your hands in his. He brought them to his mouth and blew warm air on your fingertips. You looked up in his eyes and remembered the first time he did that to you. It seemed like a lifetime ago when you hoped this man would kiss you. He still made you nervous in so many ways, and you wanted that to change. How long would he accept your shyness in lieu of a more confident woman that knew herself better and loved her body much more than you loved your own?  
You leaned forward, taking the initiative as you removed your right hand from his grasp and slowly slid your thumb across his bottom lip. He closed his eyes when you did; as if he reveled in the sensation. You took the opportunity to brush your nose against his. You breathed him in; not just his cologne, but also his scent – Sebastian’s scent. You held your breath and brushed your lips against his. You kissed him softly, paying careful attention to each one of his full lips as if you were appreciating a work of art.   
When you pulled back, Sebastian’s eyes remained closed as he licked his lips. You had no idea what kind of kisser you were, but you swallowed hard and waited for his reaction. Your heart dropped when he said and did nothing. You began to think that he should be the one to take the lead in the future. You couldn’t look at him. You backed away only to feel his strong arm pull you back against his chest.  
“What’s wrong?” you asked.  
“Not a damn thing,” he said.  
Sebastian pulled you toward him, wrapping your legs around his waist as he held you close. The way he looked at you hovered between lust and love, and from him, you wanted both – not knowing if you could handle either.   
“Spend the night with me,” Sebastian said as he stroked your face.  
You placed your hand on his chest. Your uncertainty about the relationship began to fade, but only slightly. You still worried that this, whatever it was, wouldn’t last, but you decided you’d rather enjoy the present than ruin it by thinking about an uncertain future.   
“Are you sure you want to spend another night with me?” you asked.  
Sebastian nuzzled your cheek and then whispered in your ear.  
“I want to spend every night with you,” he offered.  
You smiled and pressed your lips to his cheek.  
“We’ll see,” you teased, “You’re an account manager. Why don’t you give me your best presentation?”  
In one fluid motion, Sebastian lifted you up and somehow you found yourself positioned beneath him. The weight of his crotch pressing against your sex made you want to abandon all hope of holding back. He seized your lips with his; a hungry kiss that left your mind and heart floating.  
Once he finally released your mouth, he started placing small kisses from your jawline to the ticklish spot on your neck. Somehow, you found your words again.  
“You make a good case, sir,” you whispered to him.  
Sebastian slid next to you. He placed his forehead against yours.  
“So does that mean you’ll stay, or do I have more convincing to do?” he asked, placing another quick kiss to your lips.  
“You’re more than welcome to convince me all night if you want,” you flirted.  
“I can do that,” he retorted.  
Sebastian ran his fingers along your bare thighs as he gave you a smile.  
“Hey, are you warm enough, doll?” he asked, “Your legs feel a little cold.”  
“I’m sorry,” you announced sheepishly, pulling away from him. He halted your retreat, wrapping your leg around his waist.  
“Don’t apologize. I just want to make sure you’re warm,” he continued, caressing your thigh, while heating you up everywhere else.   
“I’m … um… I’m fine. What about you?” you asked, biting your lip.  
“I’m actually a little too warm,” Sebastian said, sitting up and removing his t-shirt before lying back down next to you.  
You gazed at him; his perfection not hidden by the dim light in the room. You marveled at his expertly sculpted torso and the narrow strip of dark chest hair that trailed between his pecs down to the top of his boxer briefs.  
Without thinking or asking, your hand reached out to touch him. You started at his collarbone, and then worked your way down, your hand touching every millimeter as your eyes drank him in. Sebastian stayed perfectly still as you explored his body, your fingers just barely grazing his skin. You could feel his breath become ragged and his muscles tense, but he remained motionless so you could enjoy him just as much as he enjoyed touching you.  
You looked up at him with what you hoped was an expression of apology.  
“I should have asked you before I did that,” you said.  
Sebastian shook his head.   
“No. Touch me wherever you want, Doll,” he said.  
You smiled at him and traced your fingers back up to his collarbone.  
“I love it when you call me that,” you confessed.  
“Call you what?” he inquired, “Doll?”  
You continued touching him, reveling in the fantasy.  
“Yeah,” you told him, “It makes me feel – precious.”  
Sebastian lifted your chin and looked into your eyes.  
“That’s because you are,” he added.  
“Can that be your pet name for me?” you asked.  
“It already is,” he answered, “Now, what do you want to call me?”  
You thought about it for a moment, wondering what name would be appropriate even though saying ‘Sebastian’ all the time did sound like a song upon your lips.   
“How about Bash?” you asked him, “Or just plain Babe?”  
He smiled.   
“Call me anything you want,” he insisted as he pulled you into a warm embrace.  
You laid there in a relaxing silence for what felt like several minutes before either of you spoke again.   
“Are you comfortable in that shirt?” he finally whispered, breaking you out of your thoughts. You loved that he was so concerned about making you feel at ease, especially since he made you nervous from the moment the two of you met in your office all those weeks ago.   
“I’m fine,” you told him.   
Sebastian kissed your forehead, but you also felt him smile against your skin. He was up to something.   
“You know,” he said, teasingly, “You might be even more comfortable if you took it off.”  
You pulled back from him, pretending to be shocked by his suggestion.  
“No, I don’t want you to see me naked yet,” you told him, wrapping the shirt around your waist more tightly.  
“You realize that I’ve seen 80 percent of your body already and I love every inch of it,” he insisted.   
“I’m not sleeping naked in your bed…not yet,” you said.   
Sebastian brushed his nose against yours.   
“Not yet…but someday?” he asked  
“Someday,” you told him, knowing that ‘someday’ would probably be much sooner than either of you expected.   
You snuggled close to him again, his lips attaching themselves to your forehead, your cheeks, your neck… and every other place he could reach. You enjoyed every minute of it and never wanted it to end as you kissed his jawline, his temple, and his mouth whenever he briefly freed it from your skin.  
“If you want to get any sleep tonight, you better face the other direction, or I’m just gonna keep kissing you,” Sebastian said.   
“So keep kissing me,” you whispered, his affectionate nature making you more euphoric with each passing minute.   
Addicted to the feel of his kisses, you failed to be concerned about sleep. You continued kissing one another until your eyes drifted shut and refused to open again due to exhaustion. 

****  
Sebastian watched you sleep, gently stroking your hair and smiling at your beautiful face. You were his girlfriend now. He wanted to kiss you, touch you, and hold you as much as possible, but not if it denied you the sleep you desperately needed.   
He worked hard to control himself, but he was fighting a difficult battle. The scent of your cocoa butter lotion hung in his nose, making him hungry for you in so many ways. He needed to taste you. He needed to dive deep into your sweet nectar and not come up for air until he’d completely left the both of you shaking from satisfaction.   
However he wanted to respect your wishes and wait until both of you were ready.   
Sebastian slid closer and wrapped himself around you like a blanket. He wanted to say so many things to you, but he felt afraid that his confessions would send you running away from him. He needed to tell you so many things, but not yet. Your relationship was in the “honeymoon stage.” He dared not ruin it with talk of his past. Most of the people in his family wouldn’t accept you. Some wouldn’t approve because your skin color didn’t match theirs. Others would be more worried about your bank account and your resume.   
None of that mattered to him. He loved you.   
It took a lifetime to find you. He refused to lose you.  
His left thumb caressed your cheek and you sighed a little. Sebastian felt guilty for disturbing you. He needed to get control over the way he felt about you otherwise you’d think him a desperate man. Only he was desperate. He always wanted to find something real, which was the reason he left behind his shallow high society life in New York. Once he found you, he knew he’d made the right decision.  
“I think I loved you the day we met,” Sebastian whispered, “And I am going to marry you one day.”

***

Monday morning arrived sooner than you wanted or expected. Your alarm clock blared on your nightstand and you slammed your hand down on the button to shut it off. The past few days felt like a rollercoaster to you. After spending the night at Sebastian’s place, you both agreed to spend Sunday night at your apartment so you could ride to work together.   
Still in a fog, you shook the cobwebs from your brain, and then slowly arose from your warm bed to head to the bathroom.   
“I hate Mondays,” you mumbled. You desperately wanted to go back to sleep.   
You soon sensed the bed dip behind you as a warm pair of arms wrapped around your waist.  
“Even if your boyfriend takes you there and stays with you all day?” Sebastian asked into your ear.   
You turned around to face him. There was a discussion that both of you needed to have. How would things go at work now? You needed to set some rules for the two of you so as not to arouse suspicion around the office. While dating a co-worker was not forbidden, you still didn’t want to call attention to your relationship at work. The VP might decide to end your partnership, forcing you to work with anther account manager.   
You didn’t want that.   
“We need to set some ground rules,” you began, looking up into his blue eyes.  
Sebastian raised his eyebrows.   
“Ground rules for what?” he asked as he leaned over and started placing warm kisses on your neck. You reluctantly pushed him back a few inches.  
“This,” you said, “We can’t do this at work.”  
“I know,” Sebastian explained, “That’s why I’m doing it here.”  
He pulled you into his arms and kissed your lips softly. You moaned into his mouth, but soon regained your willpower and pulled away.   
“I’m being serious,” you started again, “There are certain things we can’t do outside of kissing – which is obvious.”  
Sebastian straightened his expression. He gave you a thoughtful look before he spoke.   
“I get it. No kissing,” he said.  
“We should also be careful about touching each other more than necessary,” you suggested.  
“I understand,” he answered.  
“And we can’t shut the door when we’re in the office together,” you told him.  
“But we always do that,” he added.  
“It’s fine if we’re on a conference call, but I’m worried about…other things happening if we know that no one can see us,” you explained. You cheeks warmed at the thought.   
A wicked smile crossed Sebastian’s lips as his eyes scanned you up and down.   
“Have you been having some dirty thoughts about another use for that extra table in your office?” he flirted.   
“No,” you told him, except at that moment you did begin to form ideas in your head about Sebastian and what he could do to you on that table.   
You then came back to reality.  
“I’m just saying that shutting the door might lead to temptation,” you clarified.   
He looked like he wanted to argue his point, but he remained silent so you continued.   
“We’re going to do our best to remain as professional as possible during the work day,” you went on.  
“What about holding hands?” Sebastian asked as you.  
“We can’t,” you said softly.   
“We held hands the day we met!”   
“You were just trying to warm them up,” you reminded him.  
Sebastian chuckled. He placed a kiss to your cheek.   
“Your hands weren’t the only parts I was trying to warm up,” he said.  
You shook your head and carefully extracted yourself from his arms. You went to your dresser and retrieved your bra and panty set for the day, making sure to hide it from Sebastian. He needed to earn the right to see it.   
“Why don’t you get your shower and get ready first?” you told him, “I have to get a few things together.”  
“Yes ma’am,” he said, giving you a wink and heading out of your bedroom.   
You didn’t want him to see what you planned on wearing that day. You wanted his genuine reaction to an outfit you’d purchased months ago, but were too afraid to wear because of how it hugged your curvy body.   
You pulled it out of the garment bag in the closet, staring at the cream-colored faux wrap top with a plunging neckline coupled with a black pencil skirt that had a slit along the left side. You paired the ensemble with a pair of black and cream colored heels that were surprisingly comfortable.   
After you heard the shower turn off, Sebastian called to you that the bathroom was free. He finished getting ready in the spare bedroom that you used as your home office. You purposely took your time, knowing that he would be ready long before you would. You told him to wait for you in the car and that you would meet him outside.   
You pulled back some of your hair with a stylish hair clip, allowing the rest to frame your face in waves. You made sure your makeup was flawless then stood up to examine the outfit before heading out to join him. You grabbed your small handbag and went outside.   
As soon as you stepped out into the cool morning air, you began to regret wearing the thin blouse, but you knew it was a short walk to the car. You sat down in his passenger seat and purposely fidgeted with your watch, wondering if Sebastian would say anything, but he just sat there silently as he stared in your direction.   
“Sebastian, we’re going to be late if we don’t get going,” you said in your most aloof voice possible.   
Your new boyfriend remained silent, still staring at you. You crossed your legs, revealing more of your exposed thigh to his gaze as you secured your seatbelt. Curiosity got the best of you and you finally turned to face him.   
“What’s wrong?” you asked. Perhaps you were a little too cocky in dressing this way, but you felt it was both professional and sexy.  
After several more agonizing seconds, he finally broke the silence.   
“Wha… Wh… When did you get that?” he stuttered.   
“A while ago I guess,” you told him, “Start the car. We don’t want to be late.”  
Sebastian looked you up and down before responding.  
“Doll, you’re really going to test my willpower today,” he said as he backed out of the parking space.  
“How?”  
“First, you tell me I can’t touch you, then you put on this sexy outfit and expect me to keep my hands to myself,” he noted with a slight strain in his voice.   
Sebastian shifted his position in the drivers seat, adjusting his pants in an effort to relieve the pressure of his emerging erection. He then reached over and held your hand as you drove to your office building. Every now and then, he stroked the back of your hand with his thumb and glanced over at you just so he could look over at you and smile.   
One you pulled into the parking space, you slowly uncrossed your legs as he watched in awe.  
“Just think about it… One zip and one tug, and then this whole outfit comes right off,” you said with a wink, “I’m sure you can handle thinking about that all day.”  
“Trust me,” Sebastian said, his eyes darkening with lust, “I plan on handling you all night.”

***  
You arrived at the office just in time to gather your notepad and pen, and head into the conference room for the Monday morning staff meeting. McLaughlin held the meeting each week so that all the account managers could present their schedule of activities for the week and get final approval from management. You had your list memorized, but you still made sure to write it down as soon as possible. The conference room had two entrances. You went through one door with Mia while Sebastian entered the other.   
You sat down next to Mia and settled into a comfortable position as you began writing down how you were going to present this week’s accounts. You felt Mia tap you on the knee and you looked at her only to see a knowing grin on her face. She reached over and drew a “?” on the top of your notepad. You growled at her, thankful that the sound of the people pouring into the room drowned it out.   
“You’re looking so sexy today, girl,” Mia whispered.  
“Thanks, Mia, but you always look amazing,” you answered back.  
Mia batted her long eyelashes and flipped her hair.  
“Girl, I know,” she said back.  
The both of you giggled quietly like schoolgirls until some of the men in the room threw you a condescending glance. You straightened your expression, using your best “resting bitch” face to effectively put them in their place. They turned away from you and you went back to studying your notepad. You felt your work phone buzz. Since the meeting wouldn’t start for a couple of minutes, you looked at it.  
Sebastian: Can you text me your list real quick? I’ve got Camden, Adkins, Baxter, Hopkins … think I left one out.   
You: Xenon.   
You took a quick picture of your notepad and sent it to him.   
Sebastian: Thanks ☺  
He looked up from the table and gave you a quick wink. Mia noticed. She gave you a playful nudge with her knee and you nudged her back. It felt nice to be surrounded by so much love while you were at work.   
McLaughlin went around the room, asking each team or individual associate to talk about the accounts they planned to work on during the week. When he reached you, you sat back in your chair and went through your list. You motioned to Sebastian, who added additional details on each one as needed. You continued to work well as a team, but you still worried that your seamless rapport with one another would be viewed as suspicious.   
As soon as the meeting ended, the staff began to leave the room. McLaughlin spoke up.   
“Mr. Stan, Ms. (Y/L/N), can the two of you come follow me into my office. I have couple of accounts I’d like to talk about and a meeting I’ve set up for you both this afternoon,” McLaughlin stated.   
You looked across the room at Sebastian and exchanged a cautious glance before you both followed him into his office. He shut the door and asked you both to sit down.   
“First off, let me start with adding another account to your plate for this week. I know you guys are going to be busy, but I got a call from Carter Bryson and he wants a preliminary meeting this afternoon. I set the meeting for 3 p.m., so I need you both to clear your schedules and take the company car,” McLaughlin directed.   
You and Sebastian nodded, and you wrote the meeting down in your book.  
“Does he want a proposal this afternoon?” you asked, hoping and praying you wouldn’t have to scramble to put something together within a few hours.   
“On no,” McLaughlin stated, “Just treat him like a totally new account. Be your charming, capable self and sell our services to him so we can take it to the proposal phase. I know you’re rock solid on that.”  
“Thank you sir,” you said.  
“That’s the good news,” McLaughlin said.  
Your heart dropped. You scrambled to think of that type of bad news he would have for you both. Did he somehow know that you and Sebastian were seeing each other? Did he have spies in the community? Your thoughts raced almost as quickly as your heart, thinking of all the ways the man could screw up your happiness today.   
None of that prepared you for what you heard.  
“I’m pulling you off the Morrison account and transferring it to Wendy,” McLaughlin said.   
Morrison was one of your long-standing clients. You spent all of the previous Friday trying to satisfy the Human Resources manager to make sure their contract was filled today and now you were being pulled from it. Anger boiled within you, but you did your best to maintain the appearance of outward calm.  
“Can I ask why, Sir?” you questioned.  
You felt Sebastian tense up next to you, but he said nothing. Though he hadn’t worked on the account as long as you had, he knew that it drained you last Friday, but you came through for both companies.   
McLaughlin’s voice broke you from your thoughts.   
“Well, the truth is Wendy was at the Chamber of Commerce Mixer last Friday night. She ran into Morrison who said that while he was pleased with your work overall, he felt like you were overwhelmed last week. He gave me a call early this morning and said he believed that he and Wendy might be a better fit,” McLaughlin reasoned.   
Tears threatened to sting your eyes. You battled to remain composed, feeling betrayed by both Wendy and McLaughlin. You thought about what your mother taught you about how to handle yourself in these corporate situations. You understood the “black tax” very well and you also knew that these opportunities for women of color were all too often few and far between.  
“With all due respect, Sir, I still do not understand why I was not consulted prior to this decision being made,” you stated, your voice a bit strained.  
“I’m sorry, (y/n), but the client made the decision and we wanted to address his needs as quickly as possible. See if you can find an hour or so to sit down with Wendy and bring her up to speed on the account,” added McLaughlin as he sat back in his chair and shuffled his mouse to wake up his computer.   
“I understand. Is there anything else, Mr. McLaughlin?” you asked, your tone as sharp and as professional as your high heels.   
“No, that’s all. Thank you both,” he said.  
You gave him a polite nod, then walked out. As you approached your own office, your pace became more rapid. Sebastian was close on your heels, but not close enough to prevent you from getting there first and closing your door. You wanted to be alone. You needed to be alone to calm down. Being taken off an account was personally and professionally offensive. It only happened when an employee was deemed incompetent and you were not incompetent. Soon enough, the entire office would hear about it and your ability to do your job would be in question.   
A soft knock sounded on your door. You knew the owner of that knock.  
“Come in,” you ordered in a semi-reasonable voice.   
Sebastian entered the room slowly, then turned and shut the door.   
You closed your eyes and attempted to keep a promise to yourself to never cry at work, but you failed. You pulled a tissue from the box on your desk and started to dab at the tears welling in your eyes.   
“You’re breaking one of our rules, Sebastian,” you said quietly, not looking at him.  
“I don’t care,” he pointed out, walking over to where you leaned against the front of your desk.  
“Open the door. We can’t be in here alone,” you insisted.  
“In a minute,” he said, “My girlfriend needs me.”  
“I’m not your girlfriend here. I’m your colleague and this looks suspicious. At least crack it open a little,” you insisted.   
Sebastian huffed, but took your suggestion and opened the door about an inch. People would be able to see that the door was open, but no one would be able to see the interaction between the two of you.  
Sebastian stood in front of you.  
“I want to hold you,” he said softly.  
You shook your head.  
“You can’t,” you told him. But deep down, wanted to feel Sebastian’s arms around you because the sensation felt like home and in that moment, home is where you most wanted to be.   
He stepped closer, standing a few inches away. You could feel his warmth. His cologne tickled your nose. Soon, the fabric of his suit jacket brushed against your blouse. You looked up into his eyes. He waited for permission to give you some level of affection, no matter how brief.  
You placed your head on his chest at the same time his hands rested on your waist. He kissed the top of your head as he held you close to him. Your nerves calmed down while in his embrace, but you knew you only had seconds to find comfort in his arms.   
“Someone might walk in,” you whispered.  
“Then they see me hugging an upset colleague,” Sebastian pointed out, “They don’t need to know how I feel about you.”  
“And how do you feel about me?” you asked.  
Sebastian placed his lips to your right ear.  
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered, placing a quick kiss to your earlobe.  
Sebastian removed a tissue from the box. He dabbed your eyes with one hand and stroked your cheek with the other. His touch was warm, gentle, reassuring, and exactly what you needed to get yourself together so you could focus on the day.   
The sound of the door creaking open started you and Sebastian. You felt Sebastian’s hands fall slowly from your face, as you looked up to see Wendy standing in the doorway; her lush red hair pulled back in a ponytail. She looked between you and Sebastian and paused before she spoke.   
“I’m sorry,” she said, “Did I interrupt something?”


End file.
